I beat my emotional eating today!

I'm so proud of myself and I need somewhere to share without sounding insane haha

So I've been working pretty hard the last few weeks - I posted here a few days ago in detail about getting started with my weight loss, but the summary is that I'm 24F, 5ft7, 297lb, having gained 55lb in the last year and only realising when a doctor weighed me, now medicating my bad thyroid, getting my binge eating under control, and going to the gym. I've stop-started weight loss efforts a bunch of times before now.

My binge eating is very tied to my emotions. Food is my comfort, and I can easily put down several people's worth of food, especially on a bad day.

I'm in medical school, and tomorrow I'm resitting an exam that I failed in April. I really needed to work hard today but I woke up with a horrible migraine and lost a lot of my productivty, so I've been incredibly stressed.

A day like today would normally be a day where I order in, buy snacks, and absolutely gorge to feel better. And I was really craving subway, like £25 worth, multiple subs, an absurd amount of subway.

But!! I didn't!!!! I thought about it for a while, about all the progress I've made lately, and how I know that one binge is historically always a slippery slope for me on giving up altogether.

I still ordered, but I got a salad box instead, with the meat I'd usually get in a sub, and added my own dressing instead of having tons of sauce. Then I got a toasted bite, which are like little 120-ish calorie sandwiches. I didn't get the usual side snacks or sodas I would have bought on a bad day. It satisfied the craving, with the meat and bread and salad I would usually get in a binge, but stayed nicely within my calorie budget, and didn't weigh me down with excessive amounts of food.

Idk I just feel so proud of myself because my impulse control is usually so bad, i don't have a good track record resisting, especially with all the stress of this exam tomorrow. This feels like the biggest victory so far - moreso than starting to exercise and get my daily diet controlled, these emotional eating days are always my biggest challenge and this honestly is the first time I've ever truly resisted it. It makes me feel like it's real this time, and I'm not gonna give up like all the other times.

I'm just happy and wanted to really tell someone who'll get it. I adore this sub and I've not even been here long. I hope y'all are having beautiful days!!

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