I’ve been struggling with my weight basically since I was 10; at the age of 13 I was 5’3” and weighed 166lbs. At that moment, I promised myself I’d lose the weight and never let myself get that fat again. Through over a year and a half of calorie restriction (1200/day), I was able to get down to 130 by the time I was 15. However, once I hit my target weight, I tried to go to just eating when I was hungry until I was not hungry (though not full) and taking a less obsessive approach because I was starting to only think about calories and what I should and shouldn’t eat, and it was destroying any pleasure I took in family dinners, holidays, etc. However, I have been slowly but surely creeping up since then, but I always ignored it on the idea that I can just “lose the weight again”.
I reached 180 today, and my self confidence is through the floor. I want to lose weight again but have no idea how to do it in a way that won’t manifest as a hatred of food and the need to eat like I developed the first time around.
I’m extremely upset by the prospect that I’ll look back on my 20s now and hate the way I looked. I can’t stand any of my clothes because nothing seems to fit anymore. I hate how I look in the mirror. I can’t help but compare myself to my peers who are all thinner and prettier than I am. I just started living on my own, and the temptation to live off of free food being offered at different grad school events was strong the first month, and I gained 10 pounds from that alone. I feel like I lack any willpower or time to stick to a healthy regimen, and the temptation to just not eat for days at a time is very strong but fights with what feels like constant hunger.
Are there any resources to get started with a weight loss plan that’s doable for a grad student with limited time and budget and that’s also good for my mental health and self-confidence? I don’t want to spiral into disordered eating but I fear that if I do this on my own, I will.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3C9O9Gb
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