Ive long suffered with fad diets and ED. After just continuing to gain and gain and gain throughout my 20s, I decided a couple years ago to institute just some general lifestyle changes. Thats what everyone said-- just try to be healthier, eat less and move more, and it will work.
Some of the changes Ive made: Large Dominos Pizza x1 per week eaten by myself --> No pizza, basically ever. If I get one its now with friends, 1 or 2 slices max 200-300 calorie snack every afternoon after lunch --> No more snack 3-5 bottles of wine per week (yes, lol, it was alcoholism) --> 1-2 drinks per week Heavy smoker --> Non-smoker No exercise --> Biking 15 miles per day, 3-4 days a week, long strenuous hikes every fews months with easier hikes every other weekend Little portion control --> Weighing and measuring, smaller portions (for example 2 egg omelet --> 1 egg omelet) Lots of prepared and instant foods --> Very little instant foods, and very little preserved meats and cheeses
This has all been over the course of 2 years, with a bit of more hardcore calorie counting inbetween.
And all together I have lost... 1 kilogram. I have gone from 95 kgs to 94 kgs, still obese (BMI 32). I dont eat heavy foods like curry or stew or hamburgers really anymore, except on occasion. I stay away from snack foods like potato chips. I have never had a taste for sweets. I dont put milk in my coffee anymore, I dont eat a lot of fried foods like I used to either. Used to eat 1 piece of fried chicken almost every day, and I dont think Ive had a piece now in like... 3 months? At least. I eat tofu and vegetables, rarely cook with oil. Lots of whole grains instead of processed ones, pastas and breads are always weighed and measured to be half-size of normal restaurant portions.
And like none of it is perfect but man, it is so much better. I am so much healthier, my skin is clearer, everything is better. And yet, I just dont lose weight.
I dont really know what to do about it. Ive spoken to doctors, gotten tested. I read about how real weight loss isnt really possible. Im the same weight as my mom and many people in my family. Maybe Im just stuck like this forever? Maybe its natural? My waist to hip ratio is not bad.
But I just hate that like... Im still so fat lol. I cant get a date, I cant go on rollercoasters, I cant shop at the normal stores for clothes and have to order specialty online. Ive been getting joint pain and my doctor says its because Im doing too much exercise at such a high weight and I need to lose some, but Ive been trying for 10 years to lose weight! Nothing is working, for some reason I specifically just cant do it.
I just dont understand. Its been so long. I know I must just be eating these calories back somehow, like my portions must be out of control or something, but I compare what I eat to my (thin) coworkers and its the same! And my stuff is healthier! I exercise more than any of my friends, I eat the same or less, I drink the same or less, and yet still...
I guess the only way forward is to count everything down to the gram. Maybe restrict much further. Maybe I just dont have a body that can eat the same as everyone, I need to eat less than everyone. I dont know.
It just sucks lol. This sucks. Im tired of being fat.
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