Proud of who I am becoming

I am a little scared to write this but I figure why the heck not. Actually pretty scared. I am on mobile, sorry.

I am 30F who started at 189lbs. Life is not the easiest for me. I have quite a lot of health issues including anklosying spondylitis and psoriatic arthritis being my two main problems. Add depression, stress and anxiety plus dependency on marijuana to the mix and I got to my lowest point in May.

I have always hated myself and tried to cope in different ways or over do it when I did have motivation, but never succeeded for more than a few days before laying down in bed, in pain and very depressed.

Something happened in May where I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't even want to be alive. It was becoming more of a reality than a once-in-a-while thought. I had the hardest night of my life, but I faced some fears and I told people around me, I became honest with myself and others about my demons.

Something clicked the next morning. I quit smoking marijuana, and I started my "journey". With that, the anxiety went down and my head became more clear. From there, I started looking in the mirror and telling myself I loved myself even through the tears and the voice in my brain telling me I didn't. I pushed through. I started caring.

Slowly but surely, I am learning to pace rather than expect an overnight change. In the past few weeks after doing some research have switched to mainly a Mediterranean diet for inflammation, I follow an app for weight loss and I am walking over 10000 steps daily, doing aqua fit, and biking. I make my lunch every night for work, I am cooking almost all meals at home and my choice of snack is now fruit rather than ice cream or candy. My relationships are better and the toxic people who were in it are weeding their way out.

I'm just proud. I am down just over 10 pounds and looking forward to another 25. I cried seeing the scale at 178 today. I am trying so hard and I feel so good doing stuff that I need to for my body, no one else's.

It isn't just about losing weight. It is about facing your fears, your demons, your mind and creating better habits for yourself.

Just wanted to write this incase anyone else is struggling with mental health, physical health, disabilities and doubts. Love every inch of yourself. You can do this and I will always be proud of you from afar. This is my journey.

Thank you for listening.

submitted by /u/anon-dreamer13
[link] [comments]

from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3eAepNF