Someone took a picture of me last week on a hike without me knowing, and I haven't been able to stop looking at it! I've avoided cameras my whole life. The 2 before pics I included are a candid picture from a wedding photographer and a photo I had to provide when I got promoted. The idea that people's first impression of me is now at 196 lbs instead of 270ish blows my mind.
Story time for anyone who cares to read:
I started my weight loss journey back in February (29M, 5'10). I've hovered between 250-280 my entire life since the beginning of high school. The last time I wasn't overweight/obese was probably kindergarten. My depression and anxiety have always kept me held down, and I spent my life resigned to being fat, fantasizing about a future version of myself that could fix it.
I'm not sure what was different this time, but after a particularly bad depressive episode driving home from work, my mood swung up and I was again feeling motivated to finally commit to improving myself. I wrote a note to myself before I slunk back into my usual apathy:
"I can't do this alone -- I need your help. You don't always need to be on a high like I am now, but you do need to know that I'll always be here on this page."
I started with common sense dieting. No calorie counting, no weigh ins, just making all of my own meals with whole foods. No more Wendy's at midnight on my way home from work (biggie bag with baconator fries and chocolate frosty), no more Burger King for breakfast/lunch (eggnormous burrito, hash browns, iced mocha/ large whopper meal), no more Domino's (2 whole medium pan pizzas in 2-4 servings), etc. I stopped buying my biggest trigger food, PEANUT BUTTER. Instead I was eating foods (that I LIKED, this is vital) such as brown rice, whole wheat bread, veggies, beans, eggs, chicken, avocado, cheese, potatoes, beef, fish etc. No processed foods. And I had fun with my cooking and meal prep. Weirdly, quarantine was a huge help. I still had to go to work, but I could spend my time at home focusing on nutrition and cooking.
When I did weigh myself almost a month later, I had lost 17 lbs! Another 13 next month, then 10, then 5. At this point I decided to try keto and intermittent fasting, as I thought it might be sustainable for me since cutting out so much sugar had made me realize that carbs weren't my favorite food. The water weight loss put me down another 20 in just over a month. I've stayed on it, but it definitely isn't for everyone. The best thing it's done for me though is forcing me to track my calories/macros. I actually enjoy it now, it's like a game. The combo of keto/fasting also plummeted my appetite. I actually have to make sure I get ENOUGH calories/protein some days!
Since then, I've been losing at a much more normal rate, and I've been ok with it. I'm not in a rush anymore, and I KNOW I'll reach my goal. I've also finally gotten consistent with strength training at the gym, increased my calories closer to maintenence, and started (attempting) jogging and hiking. I'm starting to recognize and appreciate non-weight results. Running for over a minute without dying for the first time was a watershed moment for me.
I've also gone to the doctor for the first time since high school, and started seeing a therapist again. For anyone trying to lose with a mental illness, please do the same. I can't emphasize it enough. You don't have to do it alone.
By taking these new habits on piecemeal, I finally feel like I have a healthy lifestyle without needing to throw myself over a wall every day. I have a basis to start the rest of my life on. Do I have bad days? Of course! I still get emotionally exhausted, and I binge once in a while (albeit on healthier food). I went out drinking with my friends last month. While I was good and stuck to gin and sodas, drunk me downed a cup of mac n cheese and an order of maple fried chicken at 1am. Shit happens, you have to be able to forgive yourself and keep doing what you are able to put in. It doesn't need to be more than that.
Even with all this, I struggle with my self image. My loose skin from decades of obesity isn't going to magically disappear. And I'm still the same person with a lot of the same problems. But now I trust myself to actually work on them in the future.
Oh, and I've now had peanut butter in my house without binging on it for 4 months!!! (biggest accomplishment)
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3cPvIes
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