Hi again, reddit
I honest to god never thought this would happen. On Dec 01 2019 my boyfriend and I decided that the New Year we would stop all our bad habits and get healthy, I decided that I was starting on that day (he ended up eventually getting healthier around July, but was still supportive).
My initial goal was to get from my current weight (245lbs, BMI of 41) to 200lbs over the year. But after 4 months I was already at that goal, so I bumped it to 180.. etc.. As I went through the year I decided that goal weights were scary and numbers were hard ( I can get very obsessive over numbers, and noticed myself developing some disordered habits) so I gave up a lot of the habits that kickstarted my weight loss. No more morning weigh ins, no more weighing food, no more skipping meals. Certain tools, like fasting, can be really helpful. But you can't lie to yourself if you're being stupid with your food/restriction. You have to be safe. Over a weird couple of weeks I managed to get the hang of it and started eating intuitively.
My new goal was health.
I weighed myself once a week and every few days I would log calories just to make sure I wasn't over eating, but I barely do it now. I found after I could move more without excruciating pain (my chronic pain is just about gone now) I LOVE EXERCISE. I love building muscle, I love moving my body, I love running! I never thought I'd be one of those people who like running.
It's extremely surreal waking up in the morning in this body. I have one regret and it is losing the weight too fast. I have loose skin, which bothers me a lot. My partner doesn't think it's gross and he loves me just the same, but it bothers me. I'm still young so it should be fine as long as I keep to this lifestyle, which I will, but it's still "meh". I also have body dysmorphia (not diagnosed) and it has triggered a lot of anxiety attacks and my fair share of depression, but I'm seeking help for it.
I am 145.6lbs today. I still would like to lose a little bit more, but I honestly couldn't give a shit about how fast I'll lose them. I'm not going to celebrate with a "week off" of my "diet" because I don't have weeks off, I don't really have a diet. I got some McDonalds today and ate half of it, then gave the rest to some seagulls. I don't feel pressured to eat a certain way or look a certain way, and I'm so so happy to be able to say that.
I will live a longer life. I will live an EASIER life. I am able to go on hikes and bike rides confidently. I couldn't go up stairs without being out of breath. I went from an XXL to a S in shirts, and a size 14 in pants to a size 6. I'm not scared of going outside (well, I am because of covid but not because of my body!). I'm SO proud of myself for accomplishing this goal and changing my life.
Thanks for reading, please stick to your new lifestyle that you're carving out. If this is your day one or week one, or if you've had 100 day one's, just believe in yourself. Get a support system. Learn to cook good food. You can do it! <3
If you have any questions please ask, I'm very open about everything.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/37d4YCl
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