(21F, 5'4, SW:180lbs, CW:126lbs, GW:110lbs) About a year ago, I was against the whole body positivity and HAES movement. I thought it was an excuse for obese people to continue indulging in unhealthy habits but I think this is a misconception and the movement has been corrupted by a few loud voices in the media. It isn't as black and white and I think body positivity should be on everyone's mind. I think true body positivity is accepting and loving yourself enough to maintain a healthy lifestyle (ie sleep and eating habits and exercise etc.)
My mental health went down the drain in 2020 and not only did I hate my body, but I also hated myself. My lowest point was probably when my ex said "I'm gonna say it, you're fat and you eat too much" when I was in the middle of a mental breakdown. He tried to justify it later by accusing me of being too sensitive. He said he wanted what was best for me, which was to be at a lower weight. But it is really hard to appreciate that when someone I love says that to my face when I am crying, midst anxiety attack, as if I didn't hate myself enough and as if I wasn't already disgusted with my body every single day. I would have appreciated it more if he encouraged me by communicating maturely instead of degrading my body everyday with unscrupulous insults masked as playful teasing or being consistent himself by going to the gym and eating healthy too. Even so, I have come to learn that your weight loss journey should be yours alone and change is possible only through your own willpower.
In the past, I have tried overly restrictive methods of weight loss too and although it brought me down to my lowest weight (90lbs), I could not maintain it. I wasn't happy then either. I think people really underestimate the importance of mental health and weight loss and it is really refreshing to see this sub actively advocate for a healthy mind alongside a healthy body.
I don't think weight loss is a solution to be happiness but more of a catalytic symptom. I am only happy now, not because I lost weight, but because I love myself and my body enough to improve my relationship with food and exercise. I don't feel helpless anymore. It's also interesting that whenever I try to recall my happiest moments in my weight loss journey, I only seem to smile at my non-scale victories. Like fitting into jeans I would have considered tiny a few months ago or feeling faster and lighter when I run. Just feeling confident in my appearance overall but also in my ability to get what I want.
Often we forget that we can control a lot more in our lives than we realize. So I think true body positivity is realizing that you are not helpless, losing weight is not impossible and you are not alone.
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