Possible TW: Talk of negative self-image and dangerous eating habits (starvation/binging). Not in graphic detail.
I (21f) posted here a while ago on an old account about how I had finally gotten the motivation to lose weight. I had lost 20 pounds (out of a 120 pound total goal) and I was expecting to keep progressing. I am now here saying that my 20 pound victory has been reduced to a 13 pound victory, I'm having very bad days (and weeks and months), and I'm not progressing in any way.
My whole life I have been obsessed with my weight. Since elementary school I have been obsessed with losing weight, and that led to an unhealthy relationship with food. I used to not eat anything for days, then "break" and eat everything in sight. I don't want to use it as an excuse, but my self-image really messed up how/what I eat and how much. I thought that my obsession with weight loss as a kid would have kept me from gaining all this weight (I am now at 270, 283 was my highest), not that I think it was a healthy way of thinking at all, but after all these years of constant weight gain I look back and wonder how I ever got to this point. I am so unhappy with my weight and I want to change, but I fail over and over again. I was doing good for a while but it's slowly going down the drain.
So here are some things I want to ask you guys who are going through/have gone through major weight transformations:
How did you keep the motivation? I look in the mirror/at the scale and know I want better for myself but I can't keep the motivation to attain it.
How did you work on your relationship with food (if you had a bad one)?
Where did you get accountability from? I don't have anyone in my life to keep me accountable. Any recommendations?
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