23F, 166cm. SW: 101kg, CW: 78kg, GW: 55~kg
Just writing this post to get it out there and see if anyone else felt like this. I'm roughly halfway through my weight loss journey and the past month or two my progress has really slowed down and some weeks plateaued. I know this is normal and I shouldn't get disheartened but it's hard not to.
Lately I catch myself doing some things that I know aren't healthy. I've had thoughts/done this in smaller doses earlier on but it's gotten more extreme now like waiting as long as possible to eat, seeing it as a competition about how little calories I can eat, cancelling calories with exercise, enjoying the fact I get light headed when I get up, etc. etc.
I was also roughly tracking calories by googling things and roughly looking at nutrition labels early on but now I've starting actually tracking and because I don't know what I was actually eating at before I'm scared to go above 1400kcal so I think vary anywhere from 600-1200 even though I know this is too little for me/the exercise I do.
It's also really frustrating with this slowing down/plateau period because just when I think I'm getting on track again it's that time of the month and I retain extra water. But I think because of my weird eating my period is late until I have a refeed so I hold onto this extra weight/delay progress even longer. You'd think this'd be enough incentive to eat better but if I do, I feel like I gained weight and go back to eating less as 'punishment' or to 'cancel it out.'
Don't want to talk to anyone I know because it feels stupid/illogical that I'm still overweight but having disordered eating (that isn't binge eating)–almost as if I deserve it and this is necessary. I am quite aware these thoughts and actions aren't the best so I do try and force myself to eat normally as often as possible but it's hard when you're results driven.
I'm even more insecure and depressed than when I started because I feel embarrassed I have this much to lose still and now I'm more aware of my body and what I look like. I don't want to see people or go out, just posting here to see if anyone feels the same..
TL;DR: Eating too little/having bad thoughts when I'm still overweight and in a plateau
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