I was working out/tracking calories in an effort to lose weight since March of 2020. I was doing great for a year, and I ended up losing about 70 pounds and even making it into “onederland”. I was feeling great about myself and my weight loss, and if I’m being honest, eating healthy and exercise came pretty easy to me from March 2020-March 2021. I’ve struggled with a binge eating disorder for most of my life, but once I buckled down, it just seemed easy to control for some reason.
Everything was easy until March of 2021. I don’t know what happened but I started losing motivation and my daily workouts became shorter or I wasn’t able to put in as much effort. I fell back into my binge eating disorder and began having multi-thousand calorie hinges every night, just like I used to.
During my weight loss journey, my biggest fear has been losing motivation and gaining the weight back. That’s exactly what’s happened. I’ve already gained back about 15 pounds of what I lost and it makes me feel like shit. I look back at pictures of me from a couple months ago when I was at my lowest weight and I just cry. Mentally, I want to be where I was three months ago but food and binge addiction is so hard and feels impossible to mentally overcome.
Eating well and healthy portions along with working out every day feels completely impossible even though I was able to do it almost effortlessly for a year. I don’t know what to do or where to turn for help. I feel like I let myself and everyone around me down. I want to get to my goal weight (about 40 pounds away now) but I just feel helpless.
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