Today I’ve been miserable. Bank was overdrawn over $100 smackers thanks to Microsoft renewing the fee for using “Word.” So I was up earlier than I’d like since I have covid (yes I’m vaccinated), then I put on some clothes that were washed in a new detergent. A rare disease I have causes my skin to be very sensitive so the moment I put on my clothes I was itchy all over and being autistic that’s intolerable. And PMS is rearing is ugly head and it makes me depressed every time. I was breaking down completely, then my tv decided to freeze up and glitch all day long when I just wanted to relax. I eventually started laughing at my bad luck. It was hard not to lol. It seemed like the kind of humor you’d see in a sitcom.
But I didn’t over eat! I just tried my best to be happy. Doesn’t work like that but that did help me push on. I ended up creating a set of outfits using images from stores to join together into a set. It’s fun dreaming of my future wardrobe.
I love music but I oddly find it makes me eat. I don’t know why. I think it’s similar to how tv can make people eat. My mind is faded out and suddenly my appetite has more power. So music was a no today.
Every time I wanted extra food I reminded myself “you’ll enjoy it but end up more depressed then you are now afterwards. You know you can’t bear that. You can hardly handle your emotions as is. So why do it to yourself?” Its a persuasive argument. How can I comfort myself if I knowingly make myself more depressed in the first place? If I weren’t me I’d have some curse words for myself.
I’m still not doing great. Tomorrow I’m working on my art. It’s on drawing humans. I can draw everything…. But hands and feet lol. They always turn my gorgeous art according to others into a “omg did your little brother ruin it!” So I have something to do tomorrow. I also have flash cards for piano notes to study. I’ll boost my mood not binge on food! P.s. my weight is down 96lbs! I’m just realizing I typed my weight loss wrong in another post somewhere… I put 94lbs. Oh well. Movin on lol.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3z61c9J
No comments:
Post a Comment