Losing weight is so weird. How waking up and looking at myself in the mirror is hard, not because Im fat, but because I don't recognize myself. My shoulders are smaller, my face is getting wrinkly, my legs are getting veiny and weird. My arms don't pudge in the same places. For someone who has less mass on their body and never been in a larger one, they think "Yay, isn't it fun?" "Aren't you happy?" "I love it when I lose 5-10 pounds."
Try losing 25 and still having 125 to go.
I can fully say yes and mean it, but at the same time it is really mentally challenging. Accepting my body for what it is now is hard, and having to do it quickly makes it harder. I'm doing a medically assisted weight loss program after trying to do it on my own for years and having zero success. I came into 2024 with the mindset that I would finally be successful and I have been. But not without the challenges no one told me about.
1 Getting used to your new body weekly. Dealing with weekly changes to your physique.
2 How self conscious you get when meeting new people. All I can think about is, "I know they are judging my body for being larger, but they don't know Im actively losing weight. How can I tell them I am trying to lose weight? Will they be my friend after the weight is gone? Can they overlook my weight right now?" Just some of the many anxious thoughts I get.
3 How frustrating it can get. Losing weight medically is a really great way to see results and stay encouraged, but sometimes you want to just take the fat suit off already and be the person you're working so hard to be. You still have to take the steps to see results. Sometimes, when you heal yourself you decide that your weight is no longer your story and you want to be done with that now, but it doesn't quite work like that. You have to go on the journey.
4 How triggering the doctors visits are. When I see any doctor for my body I just leave completely stressed out. You feel like an addict, and no one believes you can really ever be free from the addiction. And yes, I have switched providers, it's just the name of the game.
Weight loss is hard mentally, physically, and emotionally. People think losing weight is the best thing ever, and for sure it is good, but it comes with a lot of battles, both external and internal.
Context: 5 years of intense weekly therapy, chronic migraine illness that I treated with grass for 7 years, gained at least 50-70 pounds over the last 5 years, now I am sober and migraine free, graduated from therapy, trying to get my life back together.
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