Friday, July 17, 2020

17 lbs down from january 2020! my story + what helped me + thoughts on goals/maintenance

firstly, thank you to everyone on this sub. i've learned so much from reading everyone's advice and hacks and personal journeys, and i want to contribute in my own way as well. here are my stats: i am 5'3", started at about 130-132 lbs, and am currently at 113. my goal weight was/is 110, but i'll be maintaining for the next few months for reasons i'll detail below.

my story

like most people, i put on weight throughout uni. the freshman 15 didn't happen to me in one year, but more so over the course of 4 years. at 130 lbs, i got a bit of a wakeup call when my doctor told me that if i kept putting on weight, i'd be more susceptible to developing diabetes based on my family history and other factors. i also just felt very unfit (couldn't run a mile without stopping) and i didn't feel comfortable in my clothes.

my new year's resolution was to drop the weight. i decided that i'd just stick to CICO to do so. i also increased my cardio by starting to run/walk about 3-4 times a week, and taking exercise classes with my friends. i ate about 1200-1500 calories a day. from january to march, this worked out pretty well and i lost about 10 lbs.

quarantine helped out with weight loss in the sense that i had a lot more free time to plan my meals and to exercise. at my peak, i could run 2 miles without stopping, which i was really proud of! when the summer heat started coming in, though, i started to exercise less.

this is where i started to get into dangerous territory. because i wasn't running anymore, i adjusted my calories accordingly. burning less meant that i'd have to eat less. i think i overestimated my food's calories too much. i dropped 7 lbs in two months from may to june, but i also lost my period. i felt perfectly fine otherwise, but i'd never missed a period before.

i dived into research and i figured that i had probably had exercise-induced or hypothalamic amenorrhea (HA). not having a period might seem convenient at first, but there are serious side effects like osteoporosis and infertility. most people with HA have probably heard of the book "no period, no what?", where the biggest takeaway is to eat more and move less. specifically, go "all-in" and eat 2500+ calories a day until three normal cycles occur.

i confess that i was/still am scared of this. i didn't want to undo all of the work i'd done. although most people with HA advise against this, i decided to shift into maintenance mode instead, eating about 1500-1600 calories everyday, and stopping all exercise. i also added more fats into every meal (mostly cheese, nuts, and ice cream!)

at the end of the day, i think i've still accomplished what i was striving towards, even if i'm not at the exact number i set out towards. i can't believe how well my clothes fit and overall how my frame and face look more healthy and not so puffy.

what helped me

  • eating slowly and chewing more. this was huge for me. i grew up with lots of siblings and also as a uni student, i was just very accustomed to tearing through my food. even today, at every meal, i make a conscious effort to eat slowly and enjoyably, and to chew more instead of just swallowing right away to make room for more food.
  • drinking water before and after every meal. this includes snacks. drinking water before helps with distinguishing hunger/thirst. and for some reason, drinking water after just helps signal to my brain that i am done with eating for now.
  • not eating if i was not hungry and not eating if i was already full. it took me a while to break down the social constructs i had around food! i used to feel obligated to eat if others around me were eating. not anymore. instead, i usually drink water when i'm done and just keep the conversation going.
  • learning that smaller cheats are better than big cheats. the other day i had a night out with friends and i think i ate 800 kcals worth of junk food in one go. i went to bed feeling physically bad. bloated, heavy, etc. whereas other days, where i'd have an extra cookie or ice cream, i might feel a bit worried that i went over my daily, but the next day i'd weigh in and the difference was negligible.
  • looking at the overall trends. i use libra and weigh in every morning. i had to work on training my brain to stop focusing on the daily and instead focus on the trend weights, which are more realistic and indicative of how i'm doing.
  • and lastly, getting back on the horse. i had more bad days than perfect days, but it was important for me to not get bogged down by yesterday's mistakes and focus on the work i was doing today.

thoughts on goals/maintenance

i'm writing this post because i got my period back. :) i think i'm going to stick to maintenance calories for the next few months, until my cycle proves that it's sorted itself out. (i acknowledge that me being afraid of weight gain is a cause for concern, and i am working on being okay with putting on weight for the sake of my period.) i'm not sure if i'll have to eat more to get my body back on track. if not, i might try to cut down to a hopefully more sustainable and moderate 1300-1400 a day to very slowly shed off the last few lbs once i've had two more periods. my goal of 110 lbs is a little arbitrary, but i'm the type of person that once they set a goal - wants to hit it, even if it takes longer than i'd thought.

in general, maintenance is pretty fun! i love having an extra biscuit with my coffee, or having an extra snack in the middle of the afternoon. it was mentally hard at first, but i learned to trust the process after seeing that the scale stayed consistent. i'm keeping the healthy habits i've learned in the weight loss stage while adding in a few more fun treats.

if you're still reading, thank you for making it this far. i hope this was helpful/encouraging in some way. i'd love to hear about other people's experiences with weight loss and their period if there's anyone out there that has a similar story. i'm also open to any advice about maintenance and keeping a healthy mindset!

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