How to help a family member who is obese

I have posted this before in another group but I'll do it again here to gain more insight.

My mom is obese, not morbidly so, but she carries a lot of weight in her midsection. She looks like she very well might have Kushings syndrome.

Anyhow, I worry about her every day. I don't want her to die. However, trying to help her be productive with weight loss is extremely difficult. When it comes to her weight, she is defensive, self conscious, and avoidant. And I do it in a low-key way. I don't say "mom you're obese, lets do something to change that". I will just say stuff like "Lets not get a lot of cookies when we go grocery shopping next time, its not very healthy and I don't even like it".

Trust me, I understand weight is a sensitive topic, especially to a woman. But I will say "Do you want to go on a walk with me?" and she will say quickly "no" and if I ask her again the next day she will say something like "Stop asking me that". Being defensive about me merely asking her to come along with me on a short walk.

​

​

But yes. She doesn't do anything to manage her weight either. It's not like I am interfering with her process. She doesn't seem to have one. She isn't trying whatsoever to get healthy. She might think about it, but never puts it into practice, and will buy lots of cookies and pastries and soda from the grocery store. And I know she is unhappy with her weight. She won't let you take a picture of her.

How can you help someone who is unhappy with their weight, and wants to lose weight, but seems to do everything in their power to make that not happen? Won't move their bodies, won't eat more healthily, etc? And when you try to help, they get angry with you.

I've had people in the past say that I have to relinquish control over me trying to help her. That it is her choice to be healthy, and I can't do anything about it except just love her. But isn't love also not letting someone be their own worst enemy and try to get them healthy so they can enjoy their lives to the fullest??

submitted by /u/Elustrai
[link] [comments]

from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3lBR42s