starting over today. i need to be honest with myself

i've been feeling so low lately.

i've been feeling super low on confidence, shitty about my performace at work, dont feel like talking to anyone at home (all my mum wants to do is talk about fat/calories/diet), feeling super rejecting on dating apps and stuff and overall feeling tired, lazy, unmotivated and just FAT!

i know all these issues ^ dont all link to being overweight - i know this. but my weight certainly doesnt help any of them. i was in a good rhythm losing weight from dec - feb. i was steadily losing 1-2 lbs a week. i was managing my food. i was working out. i was walking to relieve stress (before i would eat!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol).

then i had some medical issues which really affected my weight loss. basically stopped it. then i got off track. felt bad for myself. took several breaks. stopped working out as much. feeling more and more trapped inside cos of covid and the horrific handling of it here in the UK. i just kinda let it go. not completely - i gained here and there, lost here and there. but basically my progress came to a standstill.

not anymore. i cant DO this anymore. i am writing this all out and it may seem like i am 1000000000% determined but there is this really WEIRD voice in my head which is like ok well you will do okay till dinner then well see. i am self sabotaguing. but today i really, REALLY want to ignore her and listen to the: you can do this all day. take it day by day and do it. i am 282, i started at 314, i have been at a standstill for the past 3 -4 months. i made 0 progress in weight loss and although it may not seem like it from this post: i made a lot of progress in my understanding of diet, exercise, mental health and i hope to keep up with that.

today i woke up, did a 45 min workout, ate a healthy breakfast and now i pray for the rest of THIS day will go well. because from now on i will focus on the PRESENT. not PAST failures or FUTURE fears

please wish we well, i need some support from my loseit fam <3

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