I planned my meals out today, totaling 1200 calories. Ate my planned breakfast and lunch, all good. But I just got home and picked up my mail and I had this giant vegan chocolate bar waiting for me that I ordered from the UK almost two months ago and completely forgot about. I decided to just try it and then find a way to fit it into my calories for tomorrow but I took a bite and it was SO delicious. Literally the best chocolate I've had in over a year (I went vegan a year ago and I still enjoy dark chocolate but this was some creamy ass milk chocolate shit). And then I ate the entire thing. And then I calculated the calories. 900! 900 whole calories for one chocolate bar. So now I'm gonna eat a small dinner instead of what I had planned and I'll end the day at maintenance.
But I feel so shitty (emotionally and physically, my stomach really hurts from all the sugar lol). And I always do when I accidentally eat at maintenance for a day. I haven't weighed myself in over a month (daily and even weekly weigh ins were seriously affecting my mental health due to my ED) and I planned my next weigh in for this Saturday, so in two days. But now I'm so worried that this one maintenance day is going to screw up all my weight loss and that the number on the scale won't be what I want it to be. As I said I have an ED history and am in therapy working out my issues but I guess my question is, how do I stop feeling so guilty for ONE day at maintenance? I'm not going to gain any weight, why do I care so much? Do any of you experience similar guilt when you go over and if yes how do you work through it?
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