Recently I've been reading about the habits of the naturally skinny. This has caused me to think a lot about my own eating habits and I really felt like writing my thoughts down. So, since I've been enjoying this type of content, I decided to make a post here. I hope someone enjoys it, or finds it informative. BTW sorry about a long post.
So first some background and stats. I'm 20, female, 167 cm and probably around 62 kg right now (that's BMI 22 for any americans). During my teen years my bmi has fluctuated between 20 and 24. Some of this was because of restriction, but a lot of it just happened naturally and I doubt I would ever reach a weight higher than perhaps 70 kg without the addition of serious mental turmoil, or pregnancy. Now in the eyes of a lot of people this would probably classify me as "naturally skinny". But growing up in the 21th century swedish middle class, I was actually on the "chunkier" side for my age. Now I think this is mostly due to some bad eating habits I started in childhood and it's those, as well as the habits that have kept me from really blowing up, that I want to analyse here.
The Good [aka weight loss tips]:
- Homecooking has always been the norm... I would never dream of eating junk food several times a day, or even most days of the week. In reality I probably eat it twice a month in the form of swedish pizza or a burger with onion rings. And the usual dinner is a boiled carbohydrate, baked/boiled/fried animal protein, a side of plain vegetables and a sauce. Richer meals are eaten during weekends and even then it's nothing extreme.
- I usually drink water or full-fat milk. Sugary drinks (inc. juice!) are a once in a while thing. I drink them maybe 2-3 a month and even then I struggle to finish a 33cl can of soda.
- I've never been a picky eater and I truly enjoy what others might consider disgusting diet/health food. For example, I considered cabbage soup one of my favourite meals for years. Not joking.
- My portion control is somewhat sane. It was far from great (more on that later), but I never even considered demolishing entire sleeves of cookies, several bags of chips, a whole pint of icecream or a family sized meal. In fact
I didn't even realise that it's something people do. I would be hanging over a chair, never wanting to see food again and low-key wanting to die before I even got close. Because I don't like being stuffed, it's super uncomfortable. I still do it, but I also hate it.
The Bad [aka what I want to change]:
- The Clean Plate Club. I was a gold-card member for YEARS. I couldn't stand the thought of throwing away even a few morcels of food even if it meant stuffing myself to the point of pain. It's become a lot better now, but I still catch myself finishing things I'm no longer enjoying, or eating past the point of satisfaction and even fullness. My wish to clear a plate is also made worse because..
- I often pile too much food onto my plate. I want to a have a bit of everything and don't always consider how much food it will be when it's all put together. Buffets are especially hard.
- I'm obsessed with food. I think about it A LOT. If I don't keep myself occupied it's usually where my mind strays, even if I'm full. And If I think about it, I want to eat it. Most of my snacking comes from this obsession, rather than hunger.
- I want more, more, more. Instead of savouring every bite I'll hurry to get another one in my mouth, like it's somehow going to taste even better than the one I'm already chewing on [spoiler: it won't]. When I'm eating something good I'll start thinking about getting more, even if I just started and even though I know I'm probably gonna be satisfied by the time I'm done. I rarely have just one piece of something, even if having more is a game of diminishing returns.
- I often struggle to respect my hunger signals. I eat meals when I'm not hungry so as to not worry friends and family. I often continue eating when I'm full and occasionally to the point of discomfort. And I'll give in to cravings even when I'm far from hungry.
That's all I could think of right now. I think it can be summerised into something like this: I have a bad relationship with food, but I'm saved by some decent food habits I learned in childhood. And to those who recognize themselves in my bad habits, I've been making a lot of progress. For me the key has been to be aware and to communicate with myself. For example, when I notice myself overeating, I'll gently remind myself I don't like feeling stuffed, and that it's okay to stop. I try to avoid anxiety and stress around weight and food, because having a relaxed attitude makes it so much easier for me to let go of bad patterns. Think about it, if you crave something, what would be the most effective method? Taking a deep breath and saying to yourself "I can have some of it later, when I'm hungry", or repeating to yourself "I can't have it. It's a bad food. If I have one bite I won't stop", all the while terrified you might give in? Well in my case the latter would usually lead to a fixation on the food until I finally gave up and ate too much of it...and probably too quickly to enjoy it... And if I do it the first way? I usually forget about it, and if I don't I just make it a reasonably sized part of my next meal.
Thoughts?
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