I mentioned in conversation to someone today that I've lost almost 20 lbs (hit down 18 lbs a couple days ago) and am still losing (I have 130 lbs to go lol). She was impressed and asked if I could share how I'm doing it. I explained CICO, that I was weighing and measuring the majority of my food, and that meal prep was helping me immensely. I explained that I was focusing on reaching my weight goal before I added in exercise so it didn't feel overwhelming. I told her about the app I use to track calories and several subreddits, including this one, that have helped encourage me to stay on track.
She said that all sounded great, but it was harder for her because she didn't have a husband, so she didn't have as much time. And she started talking about how she'll go from one job to the next and have to stop to pick up food in between jobs, or she'll prep food but forget it, etc.
I lost weight while in grad school. I was on campus from the morning until late evening. My then fiancé was hundreds of miles away and I was constantly working, in class, or studying my brains out. I had time for NOTHING. But every day (or night before if I was really on it), I packed enough food for sometimes all three meals and more snacks than I would need. And days that didn't happen (because yeah, it happens, we've all been there), I made choices that fit my goals. It wasn't easy. But I did it. That's essentially what I told her. I've been there. I've been single and crazy busy. But I did it.
Here's what I didn't tell her that I wish I had: being married changes nothing. It often makes staying on track harder. Between my two jobs and volunteer positions, I work more than full time. And many of my hours are worked before the sun comes up. And, my husband and I share a car, so drive him to and from work and often spend over an hour in a Wendy's parking lot waiting for him to tell me he's off work (don't even go here please lol). I'm constantly driving, constantly surrounded by temptation and opportunities to go off track.
I'm constantly exhausted. When your main job starts at 3 am, you're never not tired. But I still make time to prep and freeze enough food to last me for a couple weeks of dinners (and the instant pot makes it super easy). My husband is hardly home and when he is, he just wants snacks. I still make it work. Just because he's eating something or a certain amount of something, doesn't mean I have to match it.
That job, that situation, that relationship status, or whatever that thing is you wish you had doesn't always make things easier or better. Marriage is work. A job is still work, even if it's your dream job. A goal takes work. All of us on this sub could write a post like this, talking about every barrier in their life that makes working towards your goals harder. There will always be an excuse. Weight loss takes effort. It takes discipline. It takes saying no to certain things because they don't fit your calories for the day. It takes turning down a night out or sleeping in so you can hit the gym. It takes making sure you're prepared for a busy day away from home. It. Takes. Work.
You are always going to find an excuse. At some point, all of us have to or have had to realize that we have to be stronger than our excuses. You don't have to eat the elephant all in one day. Take it one bite, one babystep, one day at a time. You'll be glad you did.
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