19F / 5"1, 79kg
I was the heaviest I had ever been at the end of my high school exams last year, and a full year later, I'm the lightest I've been in 3 years, but still very overweight. It feels like no one can see my progress except me - and I'm shocked because 10kg is the most weight I've ever managed to lose at once. I've been a yo-yo dieter since I was 14, always losing 6kg and then gaining it all back and more until I plateaued at almost 90kg at 18. I lost the 10kg in three months through calorie restriction and walking everywhere, and in the middle of it, got into a relationship with someone and lost some more due to fear of looking and feeling fat during intimate times. My boyfriend went through significant weight loss before dating me, and has a pretty healthy lifestyle now - he loves fitness and working out what foods are good for his body, and always encourages me to exercise and eat better in a way that doesn't pressure me because I know he genuinely wants whats best for my physical and mental health.
I haven't lost any more weight since August, and its November now. My lowest weight in June was 77kg, and its been slowly creeping back up. I desperately don't want to hit 80 again, but I have a huge fear of exercise and feel like everyone would be waiting for me to fail if I try to put myself back on a diet. I don't know how to healthily get back on track - I lack motivation and hate being perceived as the "fat girl on a diet". I'm having trouble finding someone to hold me accountable and share my progress with - all my friends who have experience with weight loss did so in a very disordered, unhealthy way, and I'm scared to ask my boyfriend for help because he's my safe space, and it would suck if it felt like I was disappointing him when I accidentally binge or slip up.
It feels like I'm comparing myself to everyone around me, and what little progress I make feels invisible. I want to feel lighter and stronger and more confident in myself. How do I get into a healthier mindset about weight loss to start my journey again?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2QffAtf
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