SV / NSV at the same time: As of this morning, I'm down 15 pounds from my starting weight and feeling better physically and mentally than I ever have

I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I'm not sure I was a healthy weight at any age during my childhood, and I certainly haven't been a healthy weight at any point in my adult life. I once dropped below an obese BMI during a diet, but the diet was unsustainable and I gained it all back, and more, when life threw me a major curveball and I stopped essentially starving myself. After that curveball and several hectic years, I only recently realized I was in the right headspace to make a change in the state of my health.

A month ago today I weighed 205 pounds. Over the course of the past month I have:

• accepted how much I was overeating before beginning to track my calories
  
• started introducing a small deficit and tracking everything I ate and drank
  
• cut out sugary drinks and switched to water
  
• started weighing myself daily
  
• come to grips with the daily fluctuations in weight and stopped giving up every time the number on the scale increased
  
• started walking each day
  
• taught myself how to enjoy healthy foods I'd shunned before
  
• taught myself that the "junk" food I enjoy can have its place in my diet
  
• realized calorie deficits can be sustainable when eating the proper foods
  
• realized how much more energy I have when I walk at least 10k steps each day
  
• started going to the gym for weight training and a little cardio every day
  

I cannot believe how much better I feel after only a month and 15 pounds of weight loss. Physically, I can tell that my muscles are getting stronger, my clothes fit a bit better overall, I have more energy and endurance, and I'm sleeping better. (I even cured myself of my bad habit of yawning constantly throughout the day somehow, whether from the increased energy or better lung function.) Mentally, I feel (for the first time) that hitting a healthy weight is completely possible, that I can accept the fact that I'm overweight and need to change this for my health, that I'm done making excuses for myself, that I'm strong enough to reach my goals, and that doing so will be completely worth the effort. For the first time I don't despise the body I see in the mirror; don't get me wrong, physically I haven't changed much in 15 pounds, but somehow I can simultaneously see that I'm still fat but also see the healthy body I can have if I work for it - I can see what I'm supposed to look like. For the first time I feel like I'm making changes to my lifestyle (eating habits, foods I like, daily activity level), not just dieting temporarily, starving myself, feeling deprived, and longing for the day the diet is over.

For the first time I know I can do this, and I never expected the effort to pay off so soon!

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