Thursday, December 26, 2019

Getting back into it after over a year...I'm feeling really overwhelmed

Hello! My brother directed me to this subreddit after we had a conversation about my weight loss and health... and I really need some advice and support. I'm hoping this will help.

I've had many struggles with my mental health the past 6 years; depression, anxiety, PTSD,, from sexual violence and rape, and I developed binge eating disorder after a stint of bulimia. I became an alcoholic because I couldn't cope, and my issues were all treatment resistant. This all started after getting out of an abusive relationship going into my second year of university, and all of the above has made it so I gained about 70 pounds over a span of the past 2 years.

In the beginning when my mental health wasn't as debilitating, I was a gym rat. I went 6 x/week with a friend who was a bodybuilder and PT, and I learned all about weightlifting and HIIT and that good stuff. I haven't worked out since 2018 though.

In April 2019, I finally found a treatment that worked and a therapist who treated my eating disorder properly, and put the gym on the back burner along with school and work (with the loving support of my amazing parents) and have focused 100% on my mental wellbeing.

Now, December 2019, I'm no longer an alcholic. I'm off my meds, no longer have diagnosed depression and anxiety, and my eating disorder and PTSD are 10000x more manageable. Mentally and emotionally I'm a lot stronger and I'm really proud of myself for putting myself first. Without going to the gym and just focusing heavily on therapy and reigning in my eating and drinking, I'm now sitting at 170 LBS, and...now I'm scared.

I don't like my body and am not comfortable or healthy, but I have NO IDEA where to start. Now that my mental blocks are being managed on the therapy and self - help front I don't ... I don't know how to proceed. How do you get back into working out when you haven't in a year? When I think of everything I have to do to get to my goal (meal prep, eating healthy, calorie counting, making workouts, VARYING my workouts, etc) I'm freaking overwhelmed and intimidated.

Where do I even start? Any advice or a direction I could be pointed in would be so appreciated. I really want to live to my full potential and lose more weight but goddamn I don't know where to start. When I think of what it'll take I get emotional and worried.

For reference, I am 25F, 5'7, and 170.6 LBS as of this moment. My goal is to get down to the 130-140 LBS range, as I used to be swimmer and athlete and I felt my most comfortable at 20 when I was about 120 LBS. Please help! Thank you.

submitted by /u/ginngerbread
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