Wanting to Lose but Worried [16FTM]

Hi all, I’m sure you see a lot of titles similar to this (or about starting in general) so thank you for bearing with me. TL;DR at the bottom.

As the title says, I’m 16, FtM, and worried about losing weight. I want to, by all means! I am 190 lbs (86.183 kg) and 5’4 (162.56 cm) and want to get down to at least 140 lbs (63.503 kg) — a healthy weight for my height.

However, I come from an overweight family with a history of diabetes and every experience I’ve had with losing weight caused my mental health to tank (mainly because it then became about self esteem, self image, and how much I should be “obsessing” about it).

I want to diet, because I know the foods I’m eating are a part of the problem, but a lot of the diets I’ve been seeing either remove/exclude meat or are rather extreme ... definitely fit for an adult who lives under their own roof. I wish I could find a diet that includes or even encourages certain meats; does anyone have any suggestions?

And with me still living with my family, how do I politely decline certain drinks, foods, etc. without causing suspicion or concern? My mom thinks that anytime I read the calories on labels or start to exclude certain foods I’m becoming self conscious about my body and have decided to pick up harmful eating habits.

Is it really worth trying to diet now, or do I need to wait? I’m not sure if this information is necessary, but I plan to enlist in the USCG (or a similar service) after HS, which is actually one of the key factors to wanting to lose weight.

Any other advice, tips, etc. are welcome!

TL;DR

1. I’m 16, FtM, 195 lbs and 5’4. I want to lose roughly 55 pounds so I become a healthier weight

2. I’m a little worried my mental health will take a dive or dieting and losing weight will become negative for me (mentally & emotionally)

3. I’m looking for a diet that includes or even encourages meat consumption

4. I’m worried about politely declining certain foods my family offers and how they’ll take my diet / weight loss

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