Throughout my whole childhood I was slightly overweight, maybe carrying an extra 5 or 10 pounds, my parents always pushed exercise and sports on me but I was never able to commit, they figured I’d hit a growth spurt and lose the weight, but I never ended up being that tall so the weight stayed. When I was 18 I probably weighed 165 or 170 pounds and I’m a 5’6” male. Not terrible but not great either, college has had it’s ups and downs and my freshman year I managed to take off the first semester weight I put on with a gym routine, but my eating habits were terrible and they’ve just gotten worse. Now I’m going into my second semester junior year and I’m 180 pounds, I don’t look good, I always thought of myself as fat but the people around me usually didn’t, but now it feels like they do. I hate it, I hate the way I look and the way I feel. I have started doing a HIIT routine every day for the last 3 days, it’s been okay, I’m keeping it simple because I want to create a routine, and build up from there once I have a healthy habit. My biggest problem is eating, I love carbs, and I eat a lot. I kind of eat my feelings as they say. If I had a bad day, I think this pasta will make me feel good for 10 minutes, not feeling great about myself tonight, this cookie will give me a minute long dopamine rush. It’s how I cope with a lot of the depression I’ve been dealing with for a couple years. I am definitely less depressed than when I started, but the unhealthy eating habits have only gotten worse. I’ve started to mix in salads and fruits, but it just feels like it’s never going to get better. I’ve tried everything, my problem is actually committing, I always end up falling back into the same bad habits. I’ve tried CICO, OMED, Intermittent Fasting, everything. I don’t know what to do, but I can’t keep looking in the mirror and seeing myself like this. I can’t keep bending over and feeling the extra weight on my body, I hate it, but I don’t know how to fix it.
TLDR I eat emotionally, and it negates any weight loss progress I make from exercising. I’m heavier than ever, and I just want to look good and feel good about my body for once in my life.
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