Hey all! I lost a few pounds this week and wanted to share a bit about what I feel might help others in a similar position.
Background:
*Female, 5'7
*I have struggled with overeating/binge eating for about 5 years now. The worst of my overeating habits/issues started when I was about 18 (although I've had unhealthy eating habits since I was a young adolescent), and I am now 23. Multiple factors contributed to this weight gain, but a major factor was a lot of stress from school and using food to cope with that stress/bring me "happiness." For about a year, I felt truly helpless and like my binge eating consumed me. There were points in time when I felt like I was never going to be able to lose weight because I was just so out of control and felt so addicted to food. I will say that the binge eating hasn't been as much of an issue for the past year or two, but the overeating definitely has been.
*When I was 18 (before the major binge eating began), I weighed around 135 pounds. At my highest (probably when I was 19-20) when I was binge eating all the time, I got up to 168 pounds. In a period of about 4-5 months, I had gained around 30 pounds. From ages 22-23, I have hovered between 153-158 (probably no longer in the 160's because I don't really binge anymore/as much--more so just overeat--and, before corona hit, was quite active).
*My issue has never really been with working out. I am fine with exercising if I need to. My major issue has always been with overeating. Ever since I put on around 30 pounds several years ago, I have often thought about how if I just got control over my eating, I WOULD be able to lose the weight. It has been very frustrating because I have known, logically, that if I just made the necessary dietary changes and got CONTROL over my eating, I would be able to, over time, get back to where I used to be (130's). It's not that I feel super overweight being in the 150's, but I don't want to settle and just accept my shitty eating habits and a weight that is the result of them.
*I'm tired of feeling like I have lost all control. I am determined to master my MIND (in the words of David Goggins, and I'm sure many others).
Current Approach:
*During the second week of April, I decided to create a pact with myself to stop eating ALL fast food for two months (but, honestly, I'm very likely just going to continue on with staying away from fast food indefinitely). I had pretty much developed an almost addiction to fast food, which was an issue in and of itself, independent from but still connected to my problem with overeating. I haven't eaten fast food since I started the pact. I feel liberated, on this front, specifically. I will elaborate more on the benefits below. The fast food pact, however, did not solve my overeating issues.
*About a week ago, I decided to create a new pact with myself (will call this pact 2). The approach this time would be different. Instead of focusing on working out AND "trying" to eat less/healthier, I would simply focus on eating 1800 calories a day for ONE week. Like, literally strictly counting and making sure to eat no more than 1800 calories a day for one week. My goal was to specifically work towards addressing the problem I've had all along, which is to overeat/always want more food than I need. No worrying about working out 5 times a week and then feeling like a failure when I don't follow through with that. I can come back to the working out aspect of things. I didn't want to do anything too extreme. I decided that a small caloric deficit would be sustainable and serve as a good starting goal. As many people in the weight loss community say, weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise. I wanted to see what would happen if I focused solely on my eating issues for one week.
*On May 23 (Saturday morning), I weighed 157.8 pounds. This (Sunday) morning, on May 31, I weighed 152.8 pounds.
Benefits/Thoughts/Notes to Self from Pact 1 & 2:
- I feel a greater sense of calm in general, which stems from me feeling in control
- I feel like I am making REAL progress towards mastering my mind (I am in control of my life)
- I am learning what it is like to eat a normal amount of food
- I’m learning to limit myself and realizing that this doesn’t have to make me feel deprived...do not validate feelings of deprivation...1800 calories a day is not deprivation
- I am learning that I can still feel good without relying on food
- Overeating just ends up making me feel worse, it only provides INSTANT gratification (this is obvious but can actually be a very powerful thought if you consistently remind yourself of this)
- I am learning to remind myself of what I NEED versus what I WANT when I want to eat unhealthy food
- I am learning that food shouldn’t be the thing that I look forward to
- I feel better about myself overall
- I am realizing just how important getting my eating under control is to my weight loss journey...I will NOT be able to work off the shit that I ate earlier in the day and actually lose weight in a sustainable way...I also don't want to deal with that hanging over my shoulder, regardless...I shouldn't always be working out to MAKE UP for my previous dietary f*** ups
- Make good food choices THROUGHOUT the day...Getting out of the eat-bad-now-work-it-off-later mindset...this will f*** you up!!!
- Eating 1800 calories a day has, in a way, forced me to make HEALTHIER food choices...only have 1800 calories, need to make good choices that will nourish and satiate me
- Doing this is motivating me to pursue other goals in my life/is making me feel more motivated overall
- As David Goggins said, in order to grow, you NEED to face the things that make you UNCOMFORTABLE
- 145 pounds is beginning to feel within reach (my goal weight is 130 pounds)
Closing Thoughts:
*I am not actually going to do this for only a week. I just told myself that. Instead of having to wait a month in order to feel like I achieved my first goal, I only had to wait a week. Now, I will be setting my second goal, which I will achieve a week from now on the 7th of June. And so on and so forth.
*MyFitnessPal works great.
*Don't give up. You can achieve your goals.
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