I’m tired of starting over in a way:
Starting: when I first began my weight loss journey I had just been dumped from the relationship I thought would be my last :(..... i was 5’ 11’’ 245. That was around July 2018
This Monday when I did my usual weigh in, I weighed in at 191!! A total of 54lbs. I’m very happy with how I am doing but I feel I’ve been in a rut
What follows is part a rant for myself so if you want to skip to the tldr feel free :)
I’m tired of starting over, I’m tired of eating well all day and then blowing it late at night. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of waking up, feeling almost hung over knowing I didn’t drink anything, and that it’s because I binged. I’m tired tired tired of binge eating.
This week I weighed in at 191, which I was happy about. But I’ve late night snacked almost everyday this week including some fast food yesterday with friends. This morning I was at 198, I’m feeling bloated groggy and just blehhh. Same kinda feeling I’d have if I went out and had a few beers and pizza with the homies!
For the longest I can remember I struggled with my weight. In the past 5 years I went from 225, down to 200 then slowly back up to 245, then over the past 2 years I brought it down to 190 area. I’m happy with where I am but want to lose more. I know what I like to eat and how, I track food consistently. My exercise plan is good and on weeks where I resist the urge to binge and snack I usually drop 1-1.5lbs.
My family is big on sweets, cookies, ice cream all the bad stuff. But I’ve been dieting consistently now that they know I won’t want any and won’t eat any. Sometimes when they make big desserts I move to another room till it’s done. But I’ll have a piece of cake for breakfast on a Monday morning especially if I’ve been good ;).
My biggest issue tho is late night binging. I will do well for a week, and during those times my weight will drop down into the high 180s and I’ll feel great. Then I’ll have one late night snack, and then I’ll have another on another night. Then later on in the week a voice in my head will start saying, you’ve binged twice this week, your not gonna hit ur goals, might as well keep eating 🤷♂️. That little voice is soo soo annoying to. Most of the time I can see why he’s saying to eat this, or that. I always strive to look for the cause of these urges and address them head on. I’d say my success rate of denying is around 80%.
I have goals for myself, I have an idea of where I want to go, I know the steps I want to take but I just can’t seem to get control of this late night snacking. So this is me, attempting to put my foot down. Putting it out in the open. i have a problem with binge eating and it’s the biggest thing holding me back from my goals
My workout schedule is great, I usually lift weights 5/6 days a week. I run about 15+ miles a week and on days where I’m not running I usually cycle or go for a hike as well. I really enjoy exercise and try to incorporate some form of physical movement into everyday. I barely ever drink, and the only vice I engage in is the ole devils lettuce. There is no reason for me to weigh where I am, except for binge eating.
So I guess what I’m asking for are reliable actual strategies that I can try to implement to curb this. I’ve tried multiple things, drinking cold seltzer’s to get that little bit of flavor at night. Or having extra water to feel full. Even having a light low calorie snack sometime before bed, or Putting a hard stop on eating anything after dinner. Most of the time it’ll work for a week at the most, then my weight will drop down to ~~190(which I think is my actual weight area), I’ll say to myself ok I’m doing good one snack won’t hurt and then it’ll all go to shit.
I made a goal for myself to be in the low 80s by the time this school year is over( I’m a teacher, so that would be June 2021) and I’m wondering if it’s attainable. Especially because it’s mid October now and I’ve been battling in the 188-194 range for what feels like months. But I’m putting my foot down to hold hard to this.
This is a post mostly for me, but people are welcome to comment on it
Sorry about the wall of text!!
-End rant-
TLDR:
Lost 54 lbs over the last year or two but struggling hard af with binge eating and late night snacking. For the first time im calling myself out about it, and putting it out in the open that it is something I have a real problem with.
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