I’ve been ignoring and downplaying these feelings for a long time, but I cannot pretend this doesn’t bother me anymore.
I’ve been obese for as long as I can remember. I take full responsibility for my weight now and am doing the work to get better and find some sibilance of happiness, but I am so angry that I was put into a position that that was completely unmanageable for a child or adolescent to handle. Every time a doctor or other adult warned my parents about my weight, they would do nothing to change our family’s eating habits. Every time I asked to try out for a sport or get involved in some type of physical activity, I would be told that the fees were too much. Yet we always had money for anything they wanted to buy. Not once have they ever shown any empathy, and just always repeated that I’m overweight because I wasn’t trying hard enough. What is an 8 year old supposed to do? I felt completely disgusting and unlovable. Still to this day I have to fight the feeling that everything Im doing is a waste because everyone already sees what a fat loser I am. I’m afraid to have children of my own because I’m so afraid that I will fuck it up and repeat the cycle. I could not bare if I ever caused a child to experience what I did.
I’v been on my weight loss journey for a year now and am down 90lbs, but for each pound I lose I find I’m less and less able to ignore these feelings. I don’t want to be bitter toward my parents and I do love them, but I was a child that needed help and I did not get it.
Please I’d you have overweight children, do something about it. Don’t stop until you start seeing progress and they are a normal weight. Children cannot solve these problems on their own. As the parent it is your responsibility to make sure they are healthy until they are mature enough to handle their health on their own.
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