For the first time since I started losing weight I had someone (my roommate) comment about it in a way that pissed me off.
After work one day (at the end of May), I decided to go for a walk on this easy hiking trail/walking path near me. About 1 minute into it I realized I physically couldn’t do it. I had to stop and turn around half way and was in so much pain the next few days because I pushed myself so hard. I cried the whole way home because I was so ashamed. It was my moment of realization.
Since then and over the last 5 months, I have been using the Lose It app to track my weight, the food I eat, and stick to a certain calorie intake (between 1200-1500 depending on my movement/exercise for the day). I have also added exercise into my routine by doing work out videos 1-2 times a week and walks (2-3 miles) a couple times a week as well.
With these changes, I have managed to lose 45lbs. When I was talking to my roommate about eating healthier the other day (she is trying to make life style changes too), she mentioned that I maybe I was losing weight too quickly and that I needed to eat more. That I wasn’t losing weight in a healthy way. She then began talking about people who lose weight unhealthy and how they gain it all back because what they’re doing isn’t sustainable.
It hit a nerve and It hurt. I have been obese my entire life. I have never had a healthy relationship with or even understood a lot of basic things about food. I am 30 and JUST learning the difference between genuine hunger and a craving. I’m learning how many calories are in certain foods and what normal portions are. I am working hard, learning, trying to be healthy, and most importantly making slow progress that I AM sustaining. I didn’t think my weight loss was too fast but I have no clue what a “standard” weight loss timeline is.
It’s just really shitty to have someone tell you what you’re doing is wrong or comment about your choices. Part of me thinks it’s because they are seeing my progress and not seeing any of their own but I don’t want to assume negative intentions. Maybe she really was concerned about my well-being, but it definitely didn’t come across that way.
Now I feel less comfortable being open about my choices and habits, which I’m already reserved about anyway because of how personal my weight and my weight loss journey is for me.
I don’t know. I’m just rambling and maybe this isn’t the right place for this post. It’s unfortunate because I feel GOOD. I’m proud, I have energy, I’m gaining confidence, I’m sleeping better, I’m growing as a person, and I’m making important changes.
Fuck her and her shitty opinions about my life choices. I’m happy with everything I have accomplished and can’t wait to see where I am in another 5 months.
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