Hi 👋 I'm a longtime lurker on this sub, I have been for years but I created this new account to dedicate it to my fitness joyrney. Sorry this post is so long. This is my first time posting on reddit. I hope this is within the rules.
Any advice or words of wisdom you have are deeply appreciated!
I have a non scale victory to share with y'all. It's not major. But it means so much to me personally.
Three weeks ago I decided to take my life in my hands. I wasn't sure how I'd do it.
The last time I was under 200lbs I was 15 years old. I was always a big kid, my weight at age 12 bounced around at 150-180. I remember being 10 and my Dr whispering to my mother that I was very obese for my age. I'm in young adulthood now and I'm about 8lbs off from 300lbs.
My family has a history of trying new diets, hitting the gym in spurts, trying new exercises and talking a lot about health. All in a desperate attempt to take control of our health. We're a family of yoyo dieters. Finally within the last 2 years everyone in my family has found what works for them. Now, they're losing and maintaining weight loss and healthy lifestyles is a dominant discussion every day. But as for me well...it's not so easy...
As a kid, I loved science and health- I was the 8year old health fanatic, I'd get 10 books on health and read it in a day. I wanted to be a doctor one day. I loved learning about healthy lifestyles and how the human body worked and in highschool I was studying to enter the medical field. But crippling anxiety and severe depression and multiple suicide attempts mercilessly off-railed my life. Between the medication and the inumerable unhealthy habits I adopted because of my intense self-loathing the weight rapidly piled on. When I was 16 I reached 295lbs. That same year I rapidly lost about 95 lbs. In the most unhealthy and healthy ways possible. By 17 I was back at 250. At 19 I traveled a bit and dropped to 200. 20-21 I bounced around 220. At 22 i hit close to 300. Yoyo dieters, ya know how it is.
I at first wanted to lose weight for the typical teenage girls reasons for doing anything. Guys. Other people's opinions of me. Family expectations.
But then I started caring about me. The health problems. The limitations related to obesity. The sports I wouldn't be able to play. The friends I might never make. My desire to live a long life of travel and adventure. I started caring about myself.
I tried everything, I worked out, watched my calories, but I have an intensely bad habit of giving up 4 hours into everything I've ever started.
Well 3 weeks ago that changed. I was tired of contemplating ending it all.
I was walking one night by myself to clear my head and cry. I was tired of hating myself. I was tired of being life's victim.
And so I ran.
I ran for 3 blocks for the first time since I was in 3rd grade. And when I ran I left behind all the dark years of my youth.
And then I ran some more.
That's something I've always longed to do in my heart. I always wanted to be on a track team. I've longed for years now to run without knee pain. I've only managed to jog for 5 seconds before collapsing out of breath.
When I told my dad years ago that I wanted to run track he was so proud of me. I remember the look as he proudly said I must take after him because he ran track. I never forgot how proud he was.
My family supports me in whatever I do.
But I dont want to let them in on this secret part of me right now. I'm embarking on this journey on my own. For health, emotional and spiritual reasons
I walk every evening. I run a little every day. Whenever I get the chance. I didn't know I could still run. But now I know I can so my spirit impels me to run at every opportunity.
I'm going to keep running until I find myself. Until I no longer have to run from my past. Who I used to be. I can't wait to run into the woman I am soon to become.
I'm going to lose this weight. I'm going to take control of my life. I'm dedicating this next year to my health. I'm giving myself 2 years. Because 2 years from now, I'm going to be traveling far from my home to work on a volunteer construction project that I'm signing up for as soon as I reach a healthy weight.
And since I have nobody to share this with, I came here to introduce myself.
Hello world.
I'm a volunteer construction worker.
I'm a teacher and photographer and artist and musician.
But most importantly,
I'm a runner! :)
EDIT: I just want to say, if you're just starting out like me. Just do it. Just do what it you feel you need to be that person that you see yourself becoming. Because the person you're going to become will be so thankful to you for the work you put in to change.
Just get out there and run. Or buy that new outfit. Or set that goal. There's not much you can learn from me, I'm sorry.
But please know, you have waiting deep within you a series of amazing victories that are just waiting to happen. And the first victory happens the second you say "I can. I will. I am."
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/31Qpve7
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