Would you believe me if I told you that dieting made me fat, and dieting kept me fat?

It started at 15, when young me (5'1 - 110) wanted to lose 5 pounds for an upcoming pool party with friends. I remember watching a show (maybe it was Oprah) where they talked about a diet and healthy eating, and it was the first time I was introduced to the idea that in order to lose weight and be healthy, you have to cut out food groups and take up exercise.

Trust me when I tell you that if I had a time machine, I would go to that moment in time and cover my ears from listening to it. But what happened is that I became more and more interested in the idea (especially after gaining weight from that initial diet), and there were other shows talking about it constantly. Unfortunately, I listened. Other examples are:

• The biggest loser = made it seem that to lose weight you need to eat WAY less and exercise WAY more
• Dr. Oz = subtly recommended every single diet that came out since the dawn of time and made it seem like 'the miraculous one'
• Numerous interviews with celebrities about weight loss and healthy eating are done every year and they become breaking news

The information provided, especially by these said 'professionals' became more contradictory by the day and I grew more confused, and constantly felt I had to start over with the new guidelines. I fell into the Infamous Cycle of

1. thinking I'll never be able to have certain foods again
2. I binged on them.
3. Binging on them made me gain weight
4. gaining weight was proof that these foods were bad and evil (when in reality it was due the extra calories)
5. so I was more determined to restrict them even more

Keto, vegetarian, vegan, raw vegan, pescatarian, gluten-free, no grains-no sugar, intermittent fasting, Mediterranean, low carb, no sugar .. etc.

What all these diets have in common is .. restriction, whether it is a food group or an eating window. And I'm not here to shit on your approach to weight loss, not at all. If it works for you, it works for you. And that's my entire point. I now believe with all my heart that some people (like myself) due to maybe a personality trait or it might be just our nature, cannot deal with any restriction or the notion that tomorrow 'I will start something different', at all. It messes us up and holds us back from good enough because we seek perfection. And it applies to all areas of our lives.

I'm here posting this because 16 years later I finally broke free from disordered eating that started with a diet and ruined my life way beyond gaining weight. I really feel foolish for not figuring out the real culprit earlier.

As soon as I stopped all restriction and went to a normal way of eating that includes three meals a day of whatever food I want, my pre-diet relationship with food and hunger returned in an instant and I cannot explain the relief. Food is no longer an issue or a problem to research, experiment with and solve - and it's like 100 pounds weight off of my shoulders.

Nowadays I eat everything in moderation just like I did when I was younger. Some days my meals are healthier than others, but in a span of a month it is fairly balanced and good enough. And the weight is coming off slowly and naturally.

It really made me think. Are diets an American thing? could it be one of the reasons the obesity there have increased over the years? because the solution is always a diet, not gradual lifestyle change?

submitted by /u/angrybougette
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