I am a 21-year-old female. I am 5'8" and as of today, I weigh 318lbs.
As the facts show, I am morbidly obese. I remember hearing that phrase for the first time when I was in the 6th grade. My doctor told my mother that it was very unhealthy for me to weigh over 200lbs and I was only 11 years old. I remember feeling so embarrassed, that I cried the entire way home and refused to eat for two days. I was scared to exercise in front of people, so I didn't. I was scared to eat in front of people, so I would starve the entire day and binge eat when everyone went to sleep. This led me down the rabbit hole, where at my heaviest in 2019, I weighed 400lbs.
Of course, during my childhood, my parents tried to help me lose weight. They would put me on Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and any other diet they hoped would work. When I would spend the summers with my dad, he would make me put on a plastic sweatsuit and jog on the treadmill for 45 minutes every single day. This was also in addition to the hours of swimming that I chose to do. I feel it also important to note that my parents are also morbidly obese. Almost everyone in my immediate family was overweight to some extinct. This did not leave me with good examples of how to live a healthy lifestyle. My mother once made a bet with me in high school that if I lost 20lbs by the end of summer, she would award me with a $500 shopping spree and I could pick all my own clothes. Well, I lost the weight and immediately stopped exercising and eating "healthy," thinking that my journey was done. By the time I went back home, which was only two weeks, I gained 10lbs and was absolutely crushed.
These experiences taught me everything I THOUGHT I needed to know about weight loss. You can only lose weight and keep weight off if you exercise vigorously every day and only eat rabbit food. So, I stopped trying. I would scoff at the idea of being miserable and skinny instead of fat and happy. That was until I went through the hardest times of my life in 2018-2019. Food became my only comfort. I would eat a whole medium pizza, breadsticks, and a dessert in one sitting. Then I would feel miserable, unable to sleep because my stomach hurt so badly. So I had to ask myself was I really "fat and happy"? The short answer was hell no. The long answer, how could I be happy when I was so unhealthy. I purposely avoided the doctors because I knew what they would say. I would wake up every day and my feet would hurt so badly that I had to limp around until the pain subsided, I knew I had plantar fasciitis. Using the restroom became very painful and there would be blood in my stool, I knew I had hemorrhoids. I lost the feeling in my pinky toe on my left foot, I knew I had diabetes. Diabetes runs in my family and I have been pre-diabetic since middle school. If I went to the doctors looking for relief from my ailments, they would only give me two options, lose the weight or put me a shit ton of medication. I made the decision for myself in March of 2020, I am going to lose the weight.
I knew that to lose the weight, I couldn't just go on a diet, I had to change my life. I started slowly by cutting out sugar. That meant no desserts and no fruit. Then I read how keto could (unofficially) help reverse diabetes. I tried the Keto diet for two weeks and absolutely hated it. So I stopped. I would still stay away from sugar, carbs, and fatty oils as much as I possibly could. Only allowing myself very small portions about once a month. I am also very proud to say I have not binged since January and have not felt the need to. I stopped being scared to work out in front of others and started playing tennis, softball, and basketball with my friends. Also started going on hikes since I love to be surrounded by nature. The weight just started melting off. From March to August, I lost 60lbs.
Then after that, I noticed how much slower I was losing weight. I felt discouraged but because I had already made the lifestyle changes I continued to do what I was used to. Except, I started eating carbs a bit more. That meant having potatoes with my dinner maybe twice a week or if I was really craving pizza, I would get a pizza. This time though, I could only eat three slices and even then I would feel stuffed. Also with it getting cold outside, my friends were less willing to continue to work out with me. So I went from exercising four days a week to maybe two days a week if I felt like it. I felt so awful. I just knew all my hard work was going to go down the drain. I was terrified to step on the scale because I didn't want to see how much weight I gained from not being diligent.
I went to the doctor's earlier this week for the first time in two years to get my labs done. I was ready to hear whatever they had to say because I was ready to put in the work to fix it. I got my results back last night and the only thing that was out of place was my cholesterol was slightly high. I had successfully reversed my diabetes. I also noticed my hemorrhoids were much less agitated and felt like they almost disappeared. So today, I mustered up the courage to step on the scale. As I stood there with my eyes closed and my heart pounding in my chest, I thought to myself "No matter what the damage is, I will continue to do the right thing." Imagine my gleeful surprise to see that I had actually lost another 12lbs. I immediately questioned how? Maybe I'm sick? Then I remembered, no I just never quit. Yeah, I would eat carbs and sugar but that wasn't the only thing I was eating. I was also consistently choosing meals that consisted of mostly vegetables and meats. I would only really snack on nuts, seaweed, or a small amount of cheese. It didn't feel like exercise but just me choosing to take a walk in the morning because I was feeling antsy was the right choice. I finally had the epiphany, it's not just what you eat but it's how much you eat. It's okay to have pizza, loaded fries, and any other heart attack in a meal you can think of. But it's not okay to eat those things in excess. It's okay to only work out twice a week. I didn't gain this weight overnight, so I can't expect to lose it overnight. This is a slow and steady battle and I am glad to report that I know for a fact I will come out on the winning side. So don't give up and stop being so hard on yourself because it takes time, but you just have to be persistent and willing to change your life.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3kRE4og
No comments:
Post a Comment