It just dawned on me that nobody I know has actually seen me in person in eight months, and I'm now maybe TOO excited about how they're going to react when they finally do

At my heaviest I was just over 280 pounds, and looked it. I settled down around 265 after ceasing to have such a sendentary lifestyle in 2016, but I've still spent the majority of the past four years as a plump, tired, red-faced, sweating mess. In January I finally got sober after a decade of addiction, and in July I finally got serious about trying to start pushing back.

I should be rounding 40 pounds down sometime around Monday, if my current rate holds, and to me at least the difference is already extremely noticeable (at least on days when I'm not feeling discouraged). While I haven't been able to exercise as much as I would like since I started this process, with no safe access to a gym, my home weight-lifting and bodyweight exercises seem to have also had a very modest impact. I don't get winded by everything anymore, I have far greater stamina, and I actually enjoy moving around and doing things with my body again! Some days I just look at myself in the mirror and can't believe what I'm seeing.

And almost nobody knows.

My partner does, but she lives abroad at the moment and hasn't been here to see it in person. My family does, but only by description rather than photos or video. I do have regular video conferences with my work colleagues and my classmates at school, but they're only seeing my face on a poorly-lit six-year-old webcam and I haven't said anything about what I'm doing.

By the time we can resume in-person life (by next summer, here's hoping), even a slowing over-winter rate of weight loss will likely see me down almost 80 pounds, or even more. I can't even believe it myself, and have no idea what I'll look like -- and I can't wait to find out through others' eyes.

Now, I know it's entirely possible that they won't notice, or won't say anything even if so; I'm not depending on any kind of reaction for validation, here, because that seems like it would be unhealthy. It's also true that other people never think about us as often or as intently as we do about ourselves -- for good or ill. There is still some pleasure in imagining the possibility, though!

Anyone else here been doing this "secretly" during the pandemic, or perhaps at some other point in the past? How did it go when people found out, if so?

submitted by /u/ColonelBy
[link] [comments]

from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3eRg6YI