2 and a half years ago I was 242lbs (110kg). After my left knee popped out sideways while standing up from bed, I saw my doctor about the injury and had an MRI done. The report came back "fat pad impingement" and that's all I needed to know. I asked him for help losing weight.
Now I'm 194lbs (88kg) - about 8 kilos to my first goal. Because of my knee, I was too scared to hit the gym. All the weight loss thus far has been due to overhauling my diet, cutting out 95% of the junk (I still treat myself, but one "cheat" meal every fortnight or so), culling my portion sizes and replacing lunch with a shake. My knee now no longer hurts when I walk, but due to some cartilage damage it'll sound like a cement mixer. Not much I can do about that one.
I've downsized my work uniform two sizes, my colleagues gush about how much weight I've lost. And yet... when I look in the mirror, I see no difference. I still see my flabby inner thighs, my fat fold in my lower belly will never seem to go away without surgical intervention - something I'm not entirely opposed to pursuing. I still see the love handles on my hips and my flabby wings on my upper arms. I'm still hating that I don't have a flat stomach, or anything remotely close to it. I'm dismayed at the amount of loose skin I will likely have.
I'm still dressing in very baggy oversized clothes because I'm ashamed of my appearance and in my eyes I'm still 240+lbs. I was afraid to hit the gym because of injury, but now I'm afraid to hit the gym because I'll feel (and look) out of place. I'm contemplating buying my own rowing machine/stationary bike purely to avoid the gym.
I would have thought I'd notice it for myself, but I haven't at all. And I'm feeling so... disheartened by it. Did it take you guys a while to see it for yourselves?
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