Hi all, long time lurker but never posted here. A few months ago I started what was yet another attempt at a healthy lifestyle and weight loss journey. I’ve bounced up and down the scale pretty dramatically the past decade since college, but hit an all-time high during Covid this last year.
For some background, I have been diagnosed with osteoarthritis in both hips, which has been pretty painful and prevented me from some of the activities I used to love. When Covid hit, I became a homebody even more than I was before. Work from home, live at home, hide at home, etc. spent a lot of time sitting in an office chair/on the couch and that lack of movement aggravated my arthritis quite a bit. Partway through Covid I learned we had a kid on the way (here now and is a wonderful, complicated addition to the family - babies are hard work!). I decided I needed to take my weight loss seriously for my daughter, and also seek some medical help for the issues in my hips. I needed to make some changes that would allow me to live a better, more active life with my daughter and wife.
I reached out to a hip specialist to get an evaluation on everything and to try and find some help with my mobility. I had finally been approved to start physical therapy back up (didn’t have insurance for a bit before my new job and had neglected some of my ailments in favor of saving money, not recommended if it can be avoided). Here’s where the story begins - when I spoke with the doctor’s office I was told that my BMI was too high for them to see me, and that I needed to lose weight before a doctor could evaluate my condition. Needless to say, this sent me into a downward spiral of pity and self-loathing. I was “too fat” for medical care. I asked the office staff on the phone what I was supposed to do with that information, as the last time I had seen a specialist a few years ago they had told me I would be in need of a hip replacement in the morning so distant future. I got a canned response that “this was their policy, but they would take my concerns to the office manager.” Said manager called me later and agin informed me that I was not able to see the doctor unless I lowered my BMI. I was hurt, I was angry, and most importantly - I felt hopeless. I did some research online and found a provider that would work with me, despite my weight, and have been very pleased with the help I have received and the progress I made. I’m down 22 pounds so far, and most importantly I have been able to physically care for my daughter without limitation since she was born.
I share all of this, not to throw myself a pity party or ticker tape parade, but to try and encourage others who might be in the same position as me. Don’t settle when it comes to seeking help from a healthcare professional. Your weight does not preclude you from receiving care from a doctor. You are worth their time, just like any other patient that comes through their doors. While it can be hard, and downright discouraging at times, no one knows what you are going through better than you, and no one can advocate for help like you can fir yourself.
Now, for the victory part. I was so upset with how this doctor made me feel I did something I’d never done before. I called the patient advocate’s office for this particular provider and let them know that I did not feel cared for or treated appropriately by this specialist’s office. They listened, validated my concerns and experience, and said they would take this to their team and get back to me. Well, 2 months later I received a letter in the mail stating that they reviewed my case and have developed a new empathy training for this particular physicians’ office and agreed that this “policy” and treatment was not in line with their organizational values. They thanked me for bringing this to their attention and seemed genuinely sorry for the way I was treated.
Weight loss is hard. Don’t give up. Remember your worth, and if you feel as though you aren’t getting them all care you deserve while trying to lose weight, don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself. You’re worth it.
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