I’ve always been a big kid since i was a child. During my junior year in highschool i’ve decided to lose weight. I’m doing well on the start of my journey. I was shedding pounds healthily. Then i became obsessed. I started counting calories. 1200 is the magic number right? It went downhill from there. It’s okay to stay under but never over 1200. I feel good whenever i’m under my calorie goal. I ate 1100 yesterday, today must be 1000 cals only and so on. I even exercise on top of that. I made it to the point i was surviving the day with just an apple. I lost 70 lbs that way. When i bacame a freshmen in college i just snapped. That’s when i started binge eating. It was terrible. I gained back all the weight i lost in just 3 months. But my disordered behavior never stopped. I’ve been yoyo dieting for years. I will lose weight by starving then will gain it all back. It’s tiring. All the more frustrating. Why did i let myself get caught in this vicious cycle.
When i entered med school i deleted my mfp app. It felt so liberating. In my mind i’m still counting calories tho but not as strict as before. Most of the time i save up my calories for later because i know i wont be able to control myself from snacking at night. I try keeping it low during the weekdays and tend to overeat during the weekends. I was kinda maintaining my weight this way.
8 months ago i wanted to lose weight again and started exercising almost everyday! My eating habits didn’t really change that much. I’m still in that clean weekdays cheat weekends diet. And now i’m still at the same weight i was 8 months ago even though i’m exercising. I was so frustrated. Weight loss is really 80% diet 20% exercise.
Now i’ve decided to track calories again to lose weight. I’m so afraid i’ll go back to my obsessive ways like before. Anybody experiencing the same thing as me? Can you share me your thoughts or ways how you stop yourself from getting into that cycle again??
Sorry for the lengthy post and thank you so much!!!!!
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