OK guys, this is a long one. It addresses the mental aspect of “cheating” on your diet/on your life. I don’t really expect anyone to read all of this, but if you guys do and you have experienced this before, I would greatly appreciate any feedback on the topic and its relevance to weight loss.
This is about way more than just weight loss. It’s about every decision that shapes your lifestyle and defines you as a person.
Picture this. You’re about to leave work/school for the day. You get in your car and the craving hits: you want a burrito. You NEED a burrito. With spicy meat. Guacamole. An entire bag of chips and a huge bowl of queso. Hey, burritos aren’t that unhealthy, right? You’ll justify it by subbing the rice for brown rice, you’ll opt for the whole grain wrap, and tea instead of soda. Deep inside, you know it’s more calories than you wanted to eat today. But right now, you don’t care.
You start driving and you see it-the burrito place in all its shining glory. Your heart races a little faster. Soon!!!! Delicious burrito!!! You can almost taste it. Feel the textures playing in your mouth. It’s going to be perfect.
You pull into a parking space and go to grab your wallet and walk inside, when it hits you. You meal prepped a few days ago and there is a perfectly portioned, 350-calorie container of grilled chicken, veggies, and rice in the fridge at your house. If you don’t have it for dinner tonight, will it get eaten? Plus (you start feeling guilty) the burrito isn’t really part of your diet for the week. You wanted to lose two pounds this week. And you broke your diet yesterday, too.
The chicken just doesn’t sound as good as the burrito. The textures are all wrong. It isn’t what your mind and body need right now. The rice isn’t as flavorful, the veggies were made without butter. And that queso is calling to you. You are too HuuuNGrrrY for that tiny plain meal right now.
You start feeling defensive. “It’s only this one time!” You’re playing the mental ping-pong. “I won’t go out tomorrow. I’ll stay home and be good. Work was stressful today. I deserve this. I’ve been looking forward to this. I’m already here.”
This is your moment. This is where you always are, and always will be.
The moment of decision that, in your mind, you want to make small. You want to see it as a grain of sand on the beach, so that you can toss it to the ground and watch it disappear. Giving in, at this moment, won’t matter.
But doesn’t it?
Doesn’t this one moment actually define your entire life?
I’m not saying we should feel guilty about every time we have given in. Hell, if I sat here and felt guilty about every moment like this, I don’t think I would ever find my way out. This isn’t about looking backward, but about finding the fundamental reason WHY we feel the need to give in, so that we can work on it in the future.
8am, my alarm goes off. I hit snooze, roll over, and go back to sleep. fuck it. 20 more minutes.
6pm, I get home from work. My plan was to go for a 30 minute walk, but I’m soooo tired. I sit down on the couch and turn on the tv. Fuck it. I’ll walk tomorrow.
11pm. I need to go to bed, but this episode of ___ show on Netflix just ended in a cliffhanger. Fuck it. One more episode.
12am Saturday night. I should go home, but it’s been a fun time at the bar. Fuck it. One more drink.
Why do we justify there actions to ourselves, time and time again? We know what the bigger goal is, what we WANT, what we need. Sometimes it feels more important than air or water. I want to lose weight SO. BADLY. And yet I struggle everyday, and make the wrong choices.
It’s all wrapped up in this moment. This one, tiny moment, where I either say fuck it....or I decide to embrace my long term goals. Where we give in to that temporary bliss, that emotional craving, that comfort...or employ discipline and embrace what is uncomfortable at the time, and what will ACTUALLY CHANGE HABITS and grant us the freedom to carve our own way through life.
And no, I can’t sit here and explain how to overcome these moments because I am still struggling with them myself. But I firmly believe that the first step is to recognize these moments when they happen, and examine the mental hoops I am jumping through and the beliefs I cling to in order to to justify making the wrong choices. Once I’m able to see what I’m doing to make the wrong choices, perhaps I’ll be able to correct these thoughts I hold about myself and begin to build the mental processes needed in order to make the RIGHT choices.
What do you guys think? Have you experienced this moment and how do you deal with it?
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