Edit: Wish I had proof read title.
I’m 34 F and I’ve never been diagnosed with an eating disorder or anything like that, but I’ve definitely noticed the strong correlation between my mental health and my willingness to work out and eat right. In my adult life, I’ve noticed that sometimes in high stress times I will do something akin to binge eating.
I’ve been training for a race and trying to eat better and losing weight slowly. I’ve had a hard time cutting out alcohol because I live in Colorado and we have such a culture of “hike then go to a brewery” here.
I was slowly chipping away at my goal until this week happened.
I teach high school AP courses and as students prepare for their exams and finals there is a lot of grading and a lot of emotional conversations and everyone is stressed. I’ve been at work until 7pm most nights this week. I didn’t prepare well food prep wise and I’ve been eating a lot of fast food because it’s easy and I’m hungry. But now I don’t feel like I can turn it off. I ate Chik Fil A last night and thought “well if I’m going to cheat I might as well cheat hard” so I ordered the large meal. Then I ate a sugary cookie when I got home. Then I drank some wine. Then I ate a popsicle. Then I hated myself for all of it. I tried not to shame myself but it’s hard.
I woke up this morning with that terrible full stomach feeling like taking a nap after thanksgiving and still waking up full. I’m mad but I’m more worried that in my mind I’ve developed this “all or nothing” connection to healthy and unhealthy eating. I’m going to try to reset this weekend.
I wonder if talking to a counselor or someone would be helpful. Do many people do that? I don’t think I have an eating disorder but I’m pretty sure I use food as a coping mechanism and that seems bad.
Thanks for reading and for all the encouragement in this community.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2Vb0JUt
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