How do I stay motivated and not give up?

I’m 5 foot 7 and weigh 169.8 today.

I went from 140 to 180 after a very painful lower back injury was exacerbated by my job. It has caused me a lot of depression( on Wellbutrin now). I love my wife but she’s still eating junk and just adding more workouts. When she eats it I want to too.

After losing my job I’ve taken over all of our cooking and cleaning and now workout every day and then search for jobs. Soon I’ll be up to 1 hour at a time of cardio. We’re vegetarians so I just cook vegetable stir fries. Whenever I steam vegetables she says it’s gross and refuses to eat them.

How do I stay motivated? The pain is gone, but I’m still inflexible, weight loss is slow and the prospect of telling my family about losing my job makes me feel ashamed. I looked at myself yesterday in the mirror and felt hopeful because my arms looked strong and my collarbone was defined, but then I looked down at my stomach.

My job caused the injury and was harming my mental health, but I was the primary breadwinner in our household. I almost feel like giving up because everything sucks right now. It would feel good to eat a whole box of SoDelicious. But wouldn’t it feel better to confidently walk into a job interview without my thighs chaffing and sweating buckets? The sweating gets better the more I lose, but I still feel like a loser. I lose my health insurance next week, therefore it’s too late for therapy.

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