Throwaway, because my username on my other account is literally my first and last name. Also, sorry about the novel.
So, I’ve been lurking this sub for a long time. I love seeing all of the progress pictures and the motivational stories, but I’ve always been too afraid to share my journey on here. But here I am. Because recently, I stepped on a scale and realized I’m nearly 300 pounds. That was a punch in the (pretty large) gut.
So, I’ve decided to try again at the weight loss thing. And to try to stay motivated, I’m going to try sharing a little bit with strangers.
I’ve always struggled with my weight. I’m a 5’8” female, and I’ve never been really thin. My weight fluctuated a lot throughout junior high and high school, but I was always overweight. In high school, I was so afraid of being in PE because of how out of shape I was. But it was a required course, so my senior year I finally decided to take a strength and conditioning class (lots of weights and HIIT). I weighed about 210 pounds at the time. At first I hated the class because what 210 pound person loves working out. I quickly started to love how I felt after I worked out though, and often I would go home and work out some more. Over the course of about three months, I lost 20 pounds and was down to 190. I felt amazing, but I still didn’t feel like I looked amazing. So I was determined to keep shedding the weight. And then my dumb sixteen year old self found out I was pregnant. I had to chill on the weight lifting and HIIT, and pretty much mostly did the treadmill every day.
Over the course of my pregnancy, I got up to 225 pounds, which I felt was a healthy amount of weight gain. After I had my son, most of that weight melted off pretty quickly and I got back under the 200 mark. However, being a teen parent is hard. I moved out of my parents’ house with my son and his father, and the reality of adult life combined with my own mental health issues put me into a really deep depression. I put weight loss on the back burner and slowly gained weight over the course of about a year and a half. I was in a really bad place.
Ultimately, my son’s dad and I split up, and I think a large part of that had to do with the fact that I had kind of let myself go. I remember about a week before I finally moved out, I weighed 291 pounds and I felt absolutely disgusting. After we broke up, I dropped back down to around 250 over the course of a few months, but I didn’t feel good at all. And honestly, I hardly noticed the weight loss because I was so busy being depressed.
Now, over the last two years or so, I have put that weight back on. I don’t blame depression anymore, even though it is still something I struggle with. I blame my lack of self control and laziness. My diet is absolutely terrible. It’s not that I eat a lot, but the food that I do eat is very high calorie and just generally terrible for me (think soda, hot pockets, fast food, etc.)
So anyway, tonight I’ve decided to start fresh and try again. I’ve done the healthy eating and working out thing before, I just really struggle to stick to it. I don’t do any of the fad diets. I know it’s pretty much just about CICO and eating less and moving more. I just need to actually stay on track this time.
So as of tonight, I weigh 294.2 pounds. I did a tiny workout tonight (really tiny, like ten minutes) but it’s more than I’ve done in a long time. Tonight I grabbed a cup of water instead of a cup of sweet tea with my dinner. Tomorrow, I’m taking my big water bottle to work with me so I can avoid the sodas from the vending machine. After payday this month, I’m going to renew my gym membership and start going to the gym again. I do really well with this in the summer, as I’m a teacher so my days are free in the summer.
I think my goal for the scale this month is going to just be to at least get out of the 290’s. I’m going to try making small changes at first that I can maintain and hopefully I will actually stick to it this time. I guess the reason that I’m typing all of this is just to try to hold myself accountable. Maybe if I tell a bunch of strangers that I’m starting this journey, I will feel less inclined to grab a burger for dinner tomorrow.
Oh, I forgot to mention in case it’s important, I’m 23.
If anyone has any advice on staying motivated, I would love to hear it!
TLDR: 5’8” female. I weigh 294 pounds and I don’t want to anymore so I’m going to make some lifestyle changes. I need advice and support to help stay motivated.
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