Hi guys, this is something that’s been bothering me for a while but never talked about it anywhere. (This post turned out SO much longer than I thought so I apologize!) 😬
So I’m a 22 year old lady (23 in 2 weeks!) and Ive been on a weight loss journey for a little less than a year now. Ive been obese since early childhood and I did a complete lifestyle change because I was sick of hating myself and was on the fast track to diabetes. I’m 5’6” and down 55 pounds from 250 but I still have a ways to go.
Anyway, my mom has struggled with her weight since she was my age (has some psychological issues with food from strict parents) and I’ve realized recently that she passed on her food addiction to me when I was a kid. I knew jack squat about basic nutrition and intuitive eating until I started researching for my journey and so I harbor some resentment twords her for not bettering herself for her children’s health. (My sister is on the other end of the unhealthy relationship with food spectrum, underweight.) I struggle everyday with fighting my urges because I was taught that if food tastes good and makes you feel good, then eat it. (I.e junk food, McDonald’s, cheese, anything sweet)
My big problem is, is now that Ive lost weight, exercise, and maintain a Mediterranean diet (something she thinks is gross) we’ve lost this “connection.” We can’t share clothes and we can’t really bond over being mutually big anymore. I mean, she’s still supportive of my weight loss, proud even, but she’ll say that I need to stop because I “look fine.” She gets defensive when I say I was and still am “fat” (fat is a descriptor to me, accepting I was fat is what helped me get better) and she always makes the “eat a hamburger!” (I’m pescatarian) And “unlike you, we actually eat food” comments on the reg. (Also comments on my fb photos how jealous/proud she is)
I love my mom dearly but it’s really hard sometimes because I know she is still in the mindset I was; bitter about “skinny” people, miserable but doesn’t want to change, confused. I try to make what I’m doing sound super easy and doable (because it is) but she’s way too stubborn to try anything new and healthy. So she takes it out on me I guess? She’s supportive and very happy for me but it’s hard for her. If I mention that I’m upset that the scale hasn’t moved much, shell say“ but look how far you’ve come!! Just maintain where you are! You’re beautiful now and you were before! Eat chocolate!” I hate when she says that because it’s like she WANTS me to lighten up and eat poorly. (I should mention i don’t live with her anymore so this is just phone call convos)
It’s not helpful in the slightest but it’s like we’re butting heads all the time now. I want what’s best for her but I’m focusing on myself and taking what she says with a grain of salt. If you’ve been in a similar situation, how did you deal? Sorry about the rant, I just wanted to see if people can relate and seek advice I guess.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2Yqw8zr
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