5 things I learned in my 8 years of dieting

Hello! I recently started writing down some interesting things that I learned on my 8 year long journey (& counting) to a healthier me and I thought I'd share some of my findings!

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Before I share some facts, here's some background info about me:

I'm 6'0 and 23 years old (M) and I've been trying to lose weight on and off since I was around 15. At my highest, I was around 380lbs 1 year ago and I am now at 304lbs. In my 8 years of dieting, I've probably lost a total of roughly 200lbs which I've mostly gained back. I was diagnosed(?) by my college counselor with binge eating disorder and that's mostly been the culprit of my weight gains.

These are some things that I've learned or dealt with in my 8 years of weightloss.

1. My brain is wired to somehow relate any negative aspect of my life with my problems with body image. For example, yesterday, I dropped my phone by accident and instead of thinking "oops I dropped my phone because I'm a human being and humans make mistakes", I thought "I'm so fat and clumsy that I dropped my phone". Its ridiculous but it's interesting how I automatically blame my weight for anything bad that happens.

2. Similar to #1, the most trivial things in my everyday life remind me of my body image.
   For example, I'm at a coffee shop. Oh look, that guy is drinking a iced mocha. Guess what? I cant drink that cuz I need to lose weight. Oh and btw my fat rolls are bulging out of my shirt. Dammit now I'm sad. Let me go and make myself feel good for 10mins by eating 5 McChickens and then go self-loathe for 5 hours. Happens every time

3. My diet for the day is determined by the ~1 minute window right after finishing a meal.
   When I finish my meals, theres is always a ~1 min window right after where I want to devour anything and everything. If I muscle through that 1 min, I usually succeed in my diet for the day. If I give in to the temptation in that 1min window, I usually go over my calorie limit

4. I can usually gauge how bad my diet was the day before by seeing how dry my mouth is when I wake up the day after.
   Usually after I have my worst binge eating sessions, my mouth is SUPER dry when I wake up the next morning. This usually doesnt happen if I go over by a little bit. I'm sure science can explain this one.

5. "Pre-food clarity" and "post-workout clarity"
   I always make better life choices before I eat a meal and after I work out. My laundry usually gets done right after I go on my run and right before I eat breakfast/lunch.

6. Losing weight is hard
   I know this one sounds obvious but I'm always surprised by how much weight loss is overlooked by people that never had a weight problem before! Coming from a family that's mostly skinny, talking to them about about my weight loss journey feels like talking to a brick wall sometimes. Almost all of my genuine conversations about weight loss had been with others that are/has/will going through weightloss. My mother still thinks I cant lose weight solely because I am lazy :/

I hope these were as interesting to you as I found them to be!!

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