In May, I set out to lose 70lbs. I've now lost 71lbs, going from morbidly obese to a bit overweight (which I really don't mind).
I'm comfortable in my body now and feel a hundred times better. Weight loss is slowing massively and I'm preparing to eat normally again.
Problem is, my success has been due to very strict rules. 1000 calories a day. Weekly treats only allowed if I've lost 2lb or more that week. An absolute minimum of 75 minutes on my stationary bike every single day, no breaks allowed. No cake, no chocolate, no junk food. Being really strict about these rules is the only reason I got so far.
Tonight, I joined my husband and visitors in a takeaway. I had a small portion, calorie counted, but I didn't lose weight this week so I felt like I was somehow cheating.
By the time visitors went home, it was far too late to do my time on the bike and still get up for work tomorrow. Practically, I couldn't do it. So I skipped for the first time in 6 months, and I feel like I've done something terrible.
Basically, I want to stop dieting. I think I'm ready to just maintain for a while. But my mind is still following those strict rules and telling me that I'm admitting defeat by stopping, and I should keep going as long as possible, that I may never find this motivation again so I should lose as much weight as I can now.
Thing is, my doctor told me I'm at about the right weight proportionately. My bmi has dropped by 12 points. I'm fitter and more athletic than I've ever been. On a practical level, this is a good time to learn to maintain. I just can't switch my diet brain off!
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