I don't want to tell any of my irls cause I'm afraid I may end up losing momemtum if I get too much praise, so I'm posting here instead. Sorry for the long post. Maybe a small trigger warning? I'm not sure.
So for the last couple of years, I've been stuck on the same weight. I've gone to the gym, I've tried eating less, I've tried and failed going on diets - nothing worked and I ended up giving up very quickly cause I wasn't seeing results. I got depressed and a little obsessed to the point where I think I almost started developing an eating disorder, but the fact that I had the desire to purge my food after binge eating was a massive warning sign for me, so I stopped myself and worked on my mental health for a while.
Since I've gotten better mentally, I've managed to work harder on my studies, I improved my relationship with my family a bit, and I've come to terms with a few of my social issues (definitely not all). I also got a part time job at a bar, mostly night shift. Everything was starting to go well; I was no longer obsessing over my weight (although I did think about it often), and I had gotten my depression unter control (with a lot of help from loved ones). However, due to balancing my studies with working night shift, I've gotten really stressed and tired (it didn't help that I spent hours on my phone or something instead of sleeping when I could). I have no time or energy to go to the gym, and I'm mostly too tired to care about eating healthy. The bar also offers 50% staff discount for one meal per shift, so I would eat something very unhealthy for dinner (such as a whole pizza or lots of fries) 3 times a week. The rest of the time, I'd buy food on campus, none of which was healthy at all. I was letting myself stress eat.
All of this eating and no exercise besides what my everyday life demanded of me was making my weight, which hadn't changed for years, start to pick up, and I didn't like how it felt. So I decided that now that my mental health is better, I want to improve my physical health as well: better sleep, better food, some exercise.
I took a different approach than I always have; instead of going on a diet and vigorously doing a ton of cardio, I started counting calories and doing yoga at home. I barely ever stay under my calorie limit, but I'm still learning and getting used to it, and it's making me super conscious of my portions. The yoga is helping me a lot with with movement my body doesn't normally get, and it just makes me feel good, even during the exercises - something that cardio doesn't do for me.
Since it's only been like a month or so, I didn't have any weight loss expectations; my aim for now was to just feel better - and I do! I'm keeping this in mind, even as I'm seeing the numbers very slowly drop on the scale.
Today, however, I'm letting myself feel triumphant, cause I just got myself back to the weight I've been on for years now. And, this time, I'm hoping to finally surpass it.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2CH2zAK
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