Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Lost over 50 pounds. Gained back over 30. Back on the wagon. Now weight loss is finally "easy".

I will be the first to say that my method is not "conventional" in the sense that it's not what most people preach, but it is, at it's core, CICO, and it is working for me, better than I could ever imagine.

I had gone on a weightloss journey a year ago and went from 210 pounds to 156 pounds. I maintained relatively well for a couple of months (only gaining 5-10 pounds over the summer), and then when I came back to school, it all unraveled. And I have no one to blame but myself. Sure, certain circumstances might not have helped. I was taking an intensive and advanced psych class, I had a cocktail of mental illnesses (the most impactful being bipolar disorder, DID, and depression), and I was getting back into the dating scene. So on top of the stress of barely passing my psych class, managing my mental health, and also going on dates and ordering bucketloads of food, I ended up gaining 2/3 of my weight back. I was and am still ashamed to say that I skyrocketed to 191 pounds. I couldn't believe it, but the scale didn't lie.

I then took that opportunity to really examine the way I had been dieting before. I realized that the things I had done were not always healthy. Sure, I was eating at a caloric deficit, but sometimes I would eat under 1000 calories (I'm 5"8) and excercise for hours a day. I feared food. I even thought that my college cafeteria was secretly altering the food to make it more calories than the nutritional chart said it was. I then used fasting as a "quick" way to shed extra weight. I didn't eat anything for a whole week and lost 10 pounds that way. I eventually began to develop binge eating tendencies and starting making myself throw up to counteract any weight gain. All in all, yes, I did lose weight, but I did not go about it in a healthy way.

Now, I have completely changed the way I view weight loss.

I have built a regimen that truly does work for me. To start, I would have my first meal at 1PM. Instead of fasting for rediculously large hours, I decided to simply skip breakfast. Then at one I would fill up a large bottle of water and drink that while eating my first (light) meal of fruit and popcorn. I found that the popcorn had plenty of fiber which I think allowed me to be satiated enough to wait until 5PM, when I would eat my second meal. After all, it is only 4 hours. That, I can do. So at 5PM, I took this opportunity to have variety in my food and pick items that are both tasty and not too calorie heavy. I try to stay in the low 400s calorie wise, just to take into account the hidden oil that might be in the food. I would drink one cup of water (before eating) , one cup of diet coke (during the meal) and another cup of diet coke (after eating). Guys, this changed my world. I feel sooo satiated that I don't even get hungry after eating that for four more hours. And at 9, I eat my "biggest meal" , and there is a reason why it is my biggest meal. I have always been a night time eater. Before, I would constantly snack and sometimes even binge at night because I need that feeling of fullness to induce my sleepiness and make me fall sound asleep. So, I decided to work WITH my tendencies and eat this meal at night. As a result, I feel super stuffed and I'm also mentally happy because I see sticking to my meals as a goal that I reached and this final meal being my "treat". So I am not abandoning foods that I like, which makes me not feel deprived.

All in all, I am proud to say I am now at 188 pounds after restarting 5 days ago. A majority of those three pounds is most likely water weight, but I am damn proud. Because I KNOW I can stick to this. It feels so easy all of a sudden. I have finally found my way, and I am excited to share it with you all, hear your own unique "ways", and embark on this journey with you.

TLDR; Lost a good amount of weight, gained 2/3rds of it back. Realized my disordered thoughts/ eating habits. Then found what works for me by working with my fears instead against it.

Thank you for reading.

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