We can imagine ourselves as a house: there are all important things such as thoughts, emotions and memories inside, but outside the door, there are pleasant bird calls and the fragrance of flowers, as well as malodorous air. All these things will float into the house and affect us.
Sometimes smelly things are hidden in the aroma, just like air fresheners can cover up the smell of toilets, but does the smell not exist?
If you keep covering up your smelly ideas with "spirit freshener", you will suffer even if you cannot smell them. Please think carefully about the content of lesson 1.
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The process of getting rid of smelly ideas has been long and repeated. Please keep doing it.
Now, start the second step: build your own shield.
Because someone entered the house and brought in the malodorous air at the same time.
Everyone is surrounded by people who diss you at will. They may be family members, colleagues, good friends, classmates, netizens or even strangers everywhere.
Most people have good intentions and may say this:
"Honey, you've gained weight again. It's time to lose weight."
"If your waist were thinner, it would look better."
"Don't eat this, it will make you fat."
……
Without any emotional color:
"How are your recent weight loss results?"
"You look fat again."
"Why do you eat so much when you lose weight?"
……
Hurtful:
"You are almost as fat as a pig. Stop eating!"
"Do you know how thick your legs are?"
"Don't lose weight, you can't stick to it anyway."
……
As long as you hear these words, no matter how calm you think you are, you will definitely be affected (anxious, depressed, etc.), and you may also act in anger, such as eating and drinking to relieve your anger.
Therefore, it is very necessary for you to control your public opinion environment. You should not let others tell you "what to eat, when to eat and how much to eat", and you should not allow others to judge your weight and body shape.
Perhaps you are used to being criticized and will not resist. But from today on, I hope you will slowly change and rebuild your boundaries. You need to let others know clearly that my boundaries are inviolable.
Then, within the boundary, you can do what you should do without being affected: how to eat, how much to eat, when to eat, all are things you can choose and control.
Do two things:
1. After being dissed, tell your true feelings immediately.
"I don't like you dissing me."
"If you diss me, I will feel uncomfortable."
"I hope to be encouraged and supported, not hit."
"Do you know it is rude to diss others?"
……
Please adjust what you want to say according to the specific situation.
The key is that you have to face criticism bravely.
I suggest you start with the person whom you easy to say "no" and accumulate the experience of expressing your feelings, then you will get used to it.
2. Make a prior agreement with the person you most often spend time with.
Whether these people lose weight or not, they should abide by the agreement: they cannot talk about obesity/weight loss.
If anyone fails to do so, you will immediately remind them to correct it. This strategy is very effective. It can pull you out of the endless whirlpool of losing weight and leave you undisturbed.
Examples of obesity topics:
"I am too fat to go out."
"I can't eat that cake. I'll grow fat."
"You look really well. Have you just lost weight?"
"xx has gained a lot of weight recently like blowing balloons."
……
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