I know I’m my head what I should be doing, but something in me just loses all self control.
Please hear me out, and I would appreciate any words of advice.
In the first 7 months of this year I lost 92 lbs. Tracking calories and extremely limiting carbs. Great, right? Well, cue the end of the summer and just wanting to enjoy life/food with my family. I gained 25 lbs in a little over a month. This morning I weighed in again at the total of 92 lbs total loss. You would think u would’ve learned my lesson, right?
I have planned I will go off the rails on Thanksgiving. I say that because I seriously can’t stop once I start eating sweets or carbs. I feel like a drug addict who just can’t control herself. My plan is to eat whatever I want for Thanksgiving, then next day control myself. My son his has birthday 5 days later. Then we have a party for him and my oldest son a few days after that. Then my oldest son has his birthday 7 days later, the Christmas Eve 8 days after that (our big celebration), then Christmas, then NYE then Three Kings Day 6 days after that. You see where I’m going with this??? That’s going to be a 20-30 lb weight gain. I’m so fucking close to my goal weight (another 16 lbs) and by the looks of it I won’t see it until Spring if things go how I think they will.
How do you teach yourself self control? I think I would be OK even if I allow myself to eat whatever I want on every aforementioned day. But I know that won’t happen. I know I once I start since there’s so few days before another important date I will justify it to myself. I’m sad, angry, frustrated that even after a substantial weight loss, and gaining back a good portion and losing it again that I still don’t have a healthy relationship with food. How do you achieve that? How do you prepare for failure?
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