Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Forgot to bring lunch to work yesterday. Tested myself, and ended up surprised myself

This isn't my first rodeo with CICO or weight loss. My last true attempt was in the Spring of 2018 and, honestly, it ended disastrously. It was all or nothing. I became obsessive and punishing towards myself, and it was quickly spiraling into an eating disorder. I, thankfully, still had enough presence of mind to stop before it was too late and made the decision to put a stop to any type of calorie counting until I got my head on straight.

After a lot of personal ups and downs in the past 2 years and getting to my highest ever recorded weight, I finally got to a mentally healthy enough place to try again. This time, I decided to go the complete opposite way and do slow, gradual changes. COVID had completely messed up my routine and sports practices, so step 1 was getting my workout routine back on track. So I started working out again in June. July saw me eliminating soda. The beginning of August was just sticking with the current routine, but the tail end of August I felt right and was the start of tracking with CICO.

Everything has been going well the past 2+ months. I log everything and take things day by day. Yesterday though, I completely forgot to pack a lunch to bring to work. Because I've been doing so well, I decided to screw it: I was going to go to Taco Bell for the first time in forever.

To get the best of everything, I decided to I got a crunchwrap combo. I figured: eat crunchwrap. If still hungry: eat taco. And to top it off, I'd try and see how I did with a soda after not having any for 4 months. Not gonna lie, crunchwrap was a solid choice. Had a few bites of taco, but didn't want any more and ended up tossing the rest.

The true test? The Pepsi. I had a small sip. Had another. And then was just done with it. Like, don't get me wrong, the cola flavor: still liked it. But that's it. Just... thought it was a nice flavor, but not anything special and I didn't really have a desire to keep drinking it.

Part of me was honestly expecting to fall off the wagon for a day and maybe struggle for a few days following. But... this thing of soda that I could've drank in an INSTANT months ago is still sitting full in my car cupholder.

It's kind of crazy how things have changed in just a few months. I'm taking it as a sign that my gradual changes are working, and that I can do this. It's the first time I've ever really felt that what I've been doing with CICO is a sustainable life change and I felt the need to share <3

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