Guys please help me get out of my head! I am so close to my GW but am getting more anxious and obsessive than ever!!

24F, 158cm/5’2”

SW: 59kg/130lbs, CW: 52.3kg/115lbs, GW: 50kg/110lbs

My progress

How I look now

Hi y’all! First time poster here on r/loseit. I’ve always dreamed of posting on this sub once I reached my goal weight and share my journey, but here I am, posting while my goal seems so close yet unreachable. Hope y’all can give some insight.

I’ve started my weight loss journey since the start of May 2020, two months after returning from the US to my home country and had the time of my life eating my heart out, when I reached my highest weight ever (59kg/130lbs). I’ve lost weight through CICO before during university using MyFitnessPal so the process was familiar to me. I set my rate at 1kg/2.2lbs per month so it would be sustainable and healthy for my height of 5’2”, and basically everything went as planned.

Now, six months later, I’m at 52.3kg/115lbs, which is super close to my first GW of 52kg/114lbs and not far away from my ultimate GW of 50kg/110lbs. However, instead of celebrating my progress and continuing with the slow and steady method, I find myself getting super obsessive and temperamental. My mood of the day depends completely on how much I weigh that morning. And that is even with using Happy Scale. Yet even if I hit a new low, I can still spend the entire morning/day obsessing over weight loss related stuff! I would meticulously check my MyFitnessPal entries, pour over my Happy Scale graphs, and of course, lurk in this sub till I read every single post of the day!!!! Like wtf, I know this is crazy, but I can’t stop! I never used to be like this, but recently I’ve found myself in this obsessive, controlling cycle. I feel like I can’t be at peace until I finally see that god damn 50kg on the scale!

Has anyone here experienced something similar? Please let me know how you dealt with it. I’ve stopped weighing myself since two days ago but it’s still at the back of my mind. And yes, I know many of you will say to focus on physique instead of the number, please note that I AM doing weight training, but unfortunately I do also care about the scale ಥ_ಥ I would love to get more feedback about the psychological side of things. Thank you!

TL;DR - Getting increasingly obsessive as I get closer to my goal weight. Need help and advice on how to continue my journey with a healthier mindset.

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