A little warning, this is just a wall of my negative thoughts, but I just wanted to get them out there to someone who I feel may understand or may have been where I am at one point.
I’m a 23 year old woman, been well over my goal weight for at least 5 years and want nothing else but to find the willpower to actually be consistent and lose the weight. Instead, I waste away my days on tiktok, or YouTube or whatever it is. Because of the pandemic I’ve become unemployed and probably gained another 20 pounds or so. I’m averaging less than 2,000 steps per day.
I truly feel like I’m the laziest person alive. I literally have no job but it somehow seems as if I don’t have enough time in the day to do what I need to get done. House chores, cooking, actually going out and walking. Time keeps getting away from me.
I recently bought a half gallon water bottle to start drinking more, I’m wearing my Apple Watch again to start tracking my steps and started calorie counting again. However, I only once finished the bottle. I never get my butt out the door to go for a simple walk. I’m not consistently within my calorie intake. I lay on the couch and stare at my phone for hours. Or even more sad, I scour YouTube, Reddit and tiktok for weight loss stories, hearing the same advice over and over but never heeding it.
I know logically I’m far from the only one who feels like this. But to me, it seems I’m the only one who can’t take control of their life. And out of all my issues: not knowing when I’m going to start a family, not knowing what my career life will look like, family and friend drama etc etc, I feel like if I could just take control of this ONE THING, my health, I will feel like I’ve truly accomplished something.
But here I am, wasting away on Reddit, always choosing the path of least resistance.
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