I'm down around 50lb from my highest weight and up around 15lb from my lowest, healthy weight but wanting to lose more for both athletic and aesthetic reasons.
But my biggest struggle with weight loss has always been that I love to cook? I made four different types of bread today. I can't eat four loaves of bread in a day and lose weight! But in two days there will be different breads I want to bake! I want to experiment with chocolate chip cookie recipes. I want to make a thousand different homemade pizzas. I want to explore hunan cuisine, and also turkish, while perfecting my pelmeni technique and always getting a hefty volume of vegetables.
I make a list of everything I want to cook, and by the end of the week I've added 16 and made 6 because that's all I could fit into my calories. And the list gets overwhelming and the temptation too large, and then I break down and spend weeks making and eating a bunch, and gain weight. I have literally a binder full not of recipes themselves but just of dish names, flavor combinations, techniques, recipe tweaks/substitutions I want to try. It feels like more food that I'll eat in my lifetime, and I'm still constantly adding to it.
Besides, it's frustrating and annoying trying to make single-serves of every dish, but I don't have anyone Id give most of the foods away to. I want to make rye bread, but I can't make two slices of rye bread, so now a loaf of rye is my bread for the week even though I also want to make pita and bagels!
And I don't have a low calorie allowance either. I'm an athletic man in my mid 20s. I run 50+ miles a week. But the discrepancy between the food I want to make and the food I can get away with eating is unbridgeable.
What the fuck can I do? I can't just say "oh I'll cook a bunch after I lose weight" because then I'll just gain it back. I can't just cook it as I think if it, because then I'll never even lose it in the first place. But saying "I'll just never cook it" is like giving up on a passion in a way that I just can't.
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