It's hard when one partner is losing weight and one isn't

My husband and I have been happily married for 20+ years. Early on in our marriage we established a lifestyle conducive for being overweight. We frequently ate out at restaurants, served large portions, kept our house full of junk food, and never exercised. In many ways, we were "partners in crime" in choices that lead to obesity.

About 3 years ago, when we were at our heaviest, I was ready to make a change. I sat my husband down, told him how uncomfortable I felt and talked about a plan. I didn't expect my husband to make the same choice and was thrilled when he was all in. Over the next two years, we made all the changes necessary for weight loss (portion control, healthier choices, eating less, adding exercise) and we both lost a significant amount of weight (i.e. about 60 pounds each).

Enter Covid. We've responded to the stress of the past year differently. For me, keeping up the exercise, eating healthy and making sure I'm getting good sleep has been my lifeline. It's been my bright spot in this dark time. Subsequently, my weight has continued to decrease and I'm down 89 pounds. My husband, understandably and like many others, turned to comfort eating. He prefers to workout at a gym..and doesn't feel comfortable going right now (and I get that) As a result, his weight is back up and my guess is he has gained approximately 40 pounds back.

I firmly believe that a person's relationship with food, weight, weight loss and their body is intensely personal. I also firmly believe that it's my job to make sure my husband knows he is valued and loved at any weight, situation etc. That said, it's hard. It's hard to see him not be comfortable and disappointed in his weight gain. It's hard not being in sync with lifestyle, food and exercise. The hardest thing though is fear. I fear for his health. I fear diabetes, high blood pressure and strokes (which run in his family). I fear obesity and covid. I know this is out of my control. I'm just sharing here because it's hard.

submitted by /u/MissCmotivated
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